The flower affair (warm up sonnet)

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kayjay
Member Elite

since 2002-06-24

Posts 2015
Oregon

0 posted 2003-05-15 07:33 PM

The flower affair

Took I my love to heart and home with me.
Of all I’ve met, she is the freshest prize.
She fills my life with joy so gleefully;
There are no days without love in her eyes.
By day we toil from dawn to weary dusk.
At down of sun she sighs at loss of light.
I thrill with joy at sweetness of her musk,
But sense her loss when orb has taken flight.
Should I confess how woeful is my heart
When season’s axis leaves her pale and wan
And ashen hues give likeness to a tart.
Or tell of beauty when its time to don
Her colors mostly red and peach. I know
Her rhododendron blossoms are my glow.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

1 posted 2003-05-16 09:50 AM

Lovely Ken..though I have to admit I don't know much about Sonnets.
I do love the imagery here.
~Hugs~

Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

2 posted 2003-05-23 01:39 AM

Just excellent!

Pete

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

3 posted 2003-05-23 11:14 PM

Oh really beautiful

enjoyed.

Maree

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member

since 2002-01-23

Posts 1056
Kansas USA

4 posted 2003-05-26 11:27 PM

Wow, Ken, this is an excellent sonnet. All done up in flowers and impressive! Wish I could get it down as well. Will struggle on but I'm so glad that you are in this class to show me how it's done. I enjoy your poems.

Shenachie

kayjay
Member Elite

since 2002-06-24

Posts 2015
Oregon

5 posted 2003-05-27 01:06 AM

Thanks to all who commented so favorably on this rhyme. However, as Nan said, traditionally, it is 8 lines then 6 and the first 8 sets up a dilemma and the second 6 resolves it. Thanks once again to all. Ken

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

6 posted 2003-05-27 08:02 AM

Ken~
Well, I think it's just beautimous !
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

7 posted 2003-07-27 08:14 AM

I've been saving this wonderful sonnet in hopes of writing a proper repartee... My time just hasn't allowed that in the past few weeks - Please know that I absolutely love this piece, and hope you continue to participate in the workshop...

kayjay
Member Elite

since 2002-06-24

Posts 2015
Oregon

8 posted 2003-07-28 09:59 AM

Why thank you, Nan, for words so kindly said.
I hope to be a constant writer here
and write a line or two in meter bad.
Your thoughts on writing simply are so clear
that rhyme and prose come gently from my pen.
Should I show pedancy or crunch a verb,
Please tell me quickly ere I goof again.
And doggerel inane I'll try to curb.

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

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