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Meticulous in Vain
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Meticulous in Vain |
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Yitzy Junior Member
since 2003-05-12
Posts 30 |
Blank Verse Meticulous in Vain He spends hours in the park, shooting hoops. Deliberately repeats the pattern. Arm is arched, knees are bent, the perfect form. Up and away, he watches in dismay As the shot glances, again, off the rim. I welcome all suggestions and I encourage people to assess my work with meter in this poem. I am not sure if I remained true to it or not. I invite those who are more keen to it than I am to reveal to me the caliber of my mess :-). |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
OK - Yitzy - Blank Verse is written in iambic pentameter - That's five da-DUM's per line da-DUM/da-DUM/da-DUM/da-DUM/da-DUM Let's see how this verse falls into that pattern. I'll bold what I read as a stressed syllable... da-DUM He spends hours in the park, shooting hoops. Deliberately repeats the pattern. Arm is arched, knees are bent, the perfect form. Up and away, he watches in dismay As the shot glances, again, off the rim. Here are some suggestions for smoothing the meter into iambic feet... he's atthe park for hours shooting hoops. Deliberately patterns he repeats. His arms are arched, knees bent, the perfect form. Up and away, he watches in dismay A shot that glances off the rim again. [This message has been edited by Nan (05-26-2003 06:04 PM).] |
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