To Write in Meter (A Sonnet, Maybe)

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SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

0 posted 2003-05-15 10:05 AM

To Write in Meter (A Sonnet)

Should I show how dumb I really am in here
Or try to write a sonnet here for you
To comprehend the meter thing in class
Is something that is hard for me to do

How does one go about learning meter
When you do not comprehend how it goes
I rack my brains trying to get it just right
Then when I write it down it really shows

To look so stupid in front of the class
Is not what I want to do at this time
If only I could learn the meter right
And be able to keep it in my mind

To write in meter I will learn someday
Then in my mind, hopefully, it will stay

5-14-03

fayth
Junior Member

since 2003-05-03

Posts 19

1 posted 2003-05-17 10:49 AM

yep! THats ExaCTLY how I feel. Trying to figure out this meter has killed my muse, it wasn't big, but there I know that someday it will know, perhaps.

very very true :0

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

2 posted 2003-05-18 05:25 PM

Bravo! YOu have many lines here written in PERFECT iambic pentameter
Way to go! The sonnet is becoming perfected with each one you write
You should take a bow.
HUgs
Liz

Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

3 posted 2003-05-23 01:24 AM

Hi fellow Okie,

You really are getting close. The first quatrain is almst perfect if you would just drop "in here" from the first line. That makes it 6 feet instead of 5. While it is true that you omitted the first unstressed syllable, your context seems to make that acceptable. There is a name for that but I can't remember it. Anyway, it does serve to stress the importance of the first line so I think it is justified.

Unfortunately, after that first quatrain, you meter does tend to wander. I would suggest reading your first four ine over and over until yo can feel them as they are quite good. This whould help you in fixing the thers to that same high standard.

Thanks,
Pete

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member

since 2002-01-23

Posts 1056
Kansas USA

4 posted 2003-05-26 11:13 PM

Hi Sue!

I enjoyed your sonnet and think that you are making great progress. Let me tell you--your iambic meter is better than mine by far!

Shenachie

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

5 posted 2003-05-27 10:55 AM

Well, Sue - You've come a long way in your writing... YEAH!!

Your sonnet is nearly all together. Your theme develops well. Your rhyme scheme is intact on alternating lines, but should be expanded to include those you haven't rhymed.

Your meter reads very well in most lines - Here are my suggestions to improve it...

Here's how I read it as it is

quote:

Should I show how dumb I really am in here
Or try to write a sonnet here for you
To comprehend the meter thing in class
Is something that is hard for me to do

How does one go about learning meter
When you do not comprehend how it goes
I rack my brains trying to get it just right
Then when I write it down it really shows

To look so stupid in front of the class
Is not what I want to do at this time
If only I could learn the meter right
And be able to keep it in my mind

To write in meter I will learn someday
Then in my mind, hopefully, it will stay

My suggestions for iambic pentameter - not including the rhyme scheme...

quote:

Should I show you how really dumb I am
Or try to write a sonnet here for you
To comprehend this meter thing in class
Is something that is hard for me to do

How does one learn to write in metered form
Not comprehending how it really goes
I rack my brains to try to get it right
Then when I write it down it really shows

To look so stupid here in front of class
Is not at all what I want at this time
If only I could learn the meter right
Be able to retain it in my mind

To write in meter I will learn someday
Then in my mind, it hopefully will stay

[This message has been edited by Nan (05-27-2003 11:10 AM).]

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