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Christmas [blank verse]
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Christmas [blank verse] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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 Colors of Christmas, red, green, blue and gold Flying gentle spirits, ’round you, ’round me Christmas fills air so cold, do you hear it? Bells are pealing, filled with tender feeling! Does it matter what came about this year The feared and tired emotions still seek The spirit of Christmas, as come what may, Hearts still so weary, held tight by your joy. Seek ye those tired souls whom, cast aside, Abide in yet cold and silent abodes Lighting yet one candle in their life’s dark, Sitting, quiet, as Christmas enfolds them. In joy of your season’s giving, unwrap The soul of life, Good Will, greeting us all. [The only saving grace of this attempt is the picture. I love it when poet people can do this. I admit it, I stink, I accept that, but I TRIED!] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
LOL! Well, the picture IS very nice!  There's no need going into a lot of detail here. Let me just say this...iambic is unaccented/accented syllables strung together. Words like: colors flying Christmas bells are pealing does it matter seek ye lighting sitting all begin with accented syllables, the exact opposite of iambic, therefore no iambic sentence can ever begin with words like these. Yes, you DID try and that also means a lot. So work on the rules and try again, okeedokee?  |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
 Maybe I will be the next Shakespeare, as I sure have created my very own style  Blank verse you say? Hmmm, that I have figure out now. I figure if she can't do it, then it just can't be done |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sigh. da/DUM-my me. So I talk backwards after all. Ok. I'll try again. perHAPS. I think I shall pull out my dictionary and wade through words that da/DUM first, and THEN string them all together like lights. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Iambics.....  Don't feel bad Kari honey, I talk backwards alot as I found out when trying to write Iambics. (I call it country bumpkin talk. )Of course you can do this. Ask Michael, if I can I KNOW that you can!  [This message has been edited by Gentle Spirit (12-09-2002 06:36 AM).] |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Karilea...The iambics may be reversed on this, but the words still paint a lovely image, and the graphic is very nice as well. Now, I'll be looking for some 'not-so-reversed' iambics from you. I KNOW you can do it. |
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Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
Hi Karilea! Loved the the picture! Since I ain't got no rhythm, don't ask me to address blank verse or iambic meter or any of that hard stuff. I just plain liked your poem. I'm so glad that you introduced me to this class so that I can start learning. So far, I've learned there is a lot that I don't know. Shenachie |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Our Sunshine writes in mighty fine free verse Preferring that to metered poetry Although she pens it well when ere she must Her words are best when written as she might  |
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