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Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2002-12-08 09:03 PM





Colors of Christmas, red, green, blue and gold
Flying gentle spirits, ’round you, ’round me
Christmas fills air so cold, do you hear it?
Bells are pealing, filled with tender feeling!

Does it matter what came about this year
The feared and tired emotions still seek
The spirit of Christmas, as come what may,
Hearts still so weary, held tight by your joy.

Seek ye those tired souls whom, cast aside,
Abide in yet cold and silent abodes
Lighting yet one candle in their life’s dark,
Sitting, quiet, as Christmas enfolds them.

In joy of your season’s giving, unwrap
The soul of life, Good Will, greeting us all.

[The only saving grace of this attempt is the picture.
I love it when poet people can do this.
I admit it, I stink, I accept that, but I TRIED!]



© Copyright 2002 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
1 posted 2002-12-09 12:11 PM


LOL! Well, the picture IS very nice!

There's no need going into a lot of detail here. Let me just say this...iambic is unaccented/accented syllables strung together.

Words like:

colors
flying
Christmas
bells are pealing
does it matter
seek ye
lighting
sitting

all begin with accented syllables, the exact opposite of iambic, therefore no iambic sentence can ever begin with words like these.

Yes, you DID try and that also means a lot. So work on the rules and try again, okeedokee?

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
2 posted 2002-12-09 01:16 AM


Maybe I will be the next Shakespeare, as I sure have created my very own style   Blank verse you say?  Hmmm, that I have figure out now.  I figure if she can't do it, then it just can't be done
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2002-12-09 06:29 AM



Sigh.  da/DUM-my me.  So I talk backwards after all.  Ok.  I'll try again.  perHAPS.

I think I shall pull out my dictionary and wade through words that da/DUM first, and THEN string them all together like lights.


Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

4 posted 2002-12-09 06:34 AM


Iambics.....   Don't feel bad Kari honey, I talk backwards alot as I found out when trying to write Iambics.  (I call it country bumpkin talk.   )
Of course you can do this.  Ask Michael, if I can I KNOW that you can!  

[This message has been edited by Gentle Spirit (12-09-2002 06:36 AM).]

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
5 posted 2002-12-17 12:52 PM



Karilea...The iambics may be reversed on this,
but the words still paint a lovely image,
and the graphic is very nice as well.
Now, I'll be looking for some 'not-so-reversed'
iambics from you.  I KNOW you can do it.

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056
Kansas USA
6 posted 2002-12-17 10:43 PM


Hi Karilea!

Loved the the picture!  Since I ain't got no rhythm, don't ask me to address blank verse or iambic meter or any of that hard stuff.  I just plain liked your poem. I'm so glad that you introduced me to this class so that I can start learning.  So far, I've learned there is a lot that I don't know.

Shenachie

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
7 posted 2003-01-01 08:21 PM


Our Sunshine writes in mighty fine free verse
Preferring that to metered poetry
Although she pens it well when ere she must
Her words are best when written as she might

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