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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
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| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Poetry Workshop |
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A Fool's Aspiration (a Sonnet) |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash 
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A fool to try to clothe true love with words! When even dreams cannot, true love, contain, But failure here makes not my song a dirge When love exceeds the words of this refrain. My passion surges forth to push my pen, My clumsy hands try vainly to comply, But how can I bewail my failure when Without my love my inkwell would be dry. So don't lament for me, beloved friend, For Love's sweet kiss has blessed my wanting brow, But weep for him who meets his mortal end Before, on him, Her gift She does endow. A foolish man, a fool for all to see! Perhaps a fool, then, I aspire to be. ------------------ Jim "If I rest, I rust." -Martin Luther [This message has been edited by jbouder (edited 11-15-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Jim Bouder - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
Very nice Sonnet, Jim. I think my favorite line is the opening line; A fool to try to clothe true love with words. Lorene ------------------ I look forward to tomorrow, while looking back on the past. But today is the day I am living. And I expect it to be a great day! |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Liked this a lot Jim ! : ) |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Jim...you did it!!! APPLAUDS!!! This is absolutely wonderful  Oh, one small mistake...line #8....I believe you meant inkwell instead of inwell. Great job...I'd give ya an A+ ------------------ Alis volat propriis (She flies with her own wings) |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Thanks for the encouragement, guys. Hoot: Thanks for the help along the way with the technical stuff. I even surprised myself this time! Ohme: That was my favorite line too ... but the couplet runs a close second. They were far from being the hardest lines to write, though. Munda: Glad you liked it. ------------------ Jim "If I rest, I rust." -Martin Luther |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
I think this is wonderful! It rolls off the tongue. Nice job! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This is indeed a wonderful sonnet. You've got some talent, my friend... I really love the first two lines - They introduce the theme beautifully. While I may have used a different end word for either "words" or "dirge", for a smoother rhyme, that's a very personal thing - Whatever works for you... Why do fools fall in love, eh? Nice job for sure!! |
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