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Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands

0 posted 2002-04-11 08:30 PM



It is the same here every night
I'm hanging here for my pc
And so against the sleep I fight

Am I addicted? Yes I might
Sometimes I wish I wouldn't be
It is the same here every night

During day and during night
I have to do so much you see
And so against the sleep I fight

In sunset's fading orange light
I work on this darned pedigree
It is the same here every night

But I'll be filled with little pride
When it is done, and done by me
And so against the sleep I fight

But I'm no fool, I know alright
That really I'll be never free
It is the same here every night
And so against the sleep I fight


A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Check out my new website: lookheretitia.fcpages.com (I didn't 'link' this, so it won't take too much space).I

© Copyright 2002 Titia Geertman - All Rights Reserved
SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
1 posted 2002-04-11 09:01 PM


Hey Titia, you do this very good. I like this.
Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
2 posted 2002-04-12 06:28 AM


Titia,
"  and so against the sleep I fight ".
This is some wonderful phrasing, which, in the context of your well done villanelle, really sets this piece up nicely.
Doc
Ps,
"Orange" was a little hesitant in the meter
(but I can live with that).

Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
3 posted 2002-04-12 10:01 AM


Nice work Titia. I noticed orange also but it didn't bother me. It is one of those words, like flower and some others, that fit all right as one or two syllables, for me anyway. I mean, you can't use that sort of thing much but if not done often, it works.

Nice job here. I guess I better get busy so I don't flunk this class too.

Thanks,
Pete

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056
Kansas USA
4 posted 2002-04-13 11:27 PM


Titia,

I was delighted to read your Villanelle.  Glad that you beat the sleep to write it.  Enjoyed!

Shenachie

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2002-04-17 10:50 AM


Titia~
How I admire your skills of accomplishment~
Wonderfully done~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
         noles1@totcon.com                    

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
6 posted 2002-05-01 09:48 PM


Your villanelle is great, Titia... I see you're mastered the art of choosing your words to fit well within your meter.. Nice job, my dear friend..
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