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Pantoum's 'Mask"
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Pantoum's 'Mask" |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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Pantoum’s Mask A mask behind which one hides Surreptitious movement finds All the fear that one abides When masked within the mind Surreptitious movement finds Strength beyond the norm When masked within the mind A style and grace is formed Strength beyond the norm Remaining within her know A style and grace is formed Her peace again will flow Remaining within her know There is a current she will ride Her peace again will flow Alone in the evening’s tide There is a current she will ride Though no longer will abide, Alone in the evening’s tide A mask behind which one hides ©Karilea Rilling Jungel 5 March 2002 |
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| © Copyright 2002 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
Hi Sunshine! You're right! Masking fear with style and grace requires great strength. That is what makes the gentle truly strong. Neat theme! So much truth in the writing. A great read for those who might be living isolated in fear. And it looks to me as if you got the Pantoum form right also. I'll leave that to the experts. I just wrote my first Pantoum a while ago. Not an expert on the form. I just heard the word "Pantoum" for the first time yesterday! But hey, it's kinda fun! Shenachie [This message has been edited by Bridget Shenachie (03-06-2002 12:36 AM).] |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
You did this very good, Sunshine. I'm having a some trouble with this. I don't quite understand how to do it. But, I'll keep trying. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Very nicely done, as usual. Pete |
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Casidy Junior Member
since 2002-01-27
Posts 36The Heart of Texas |
Sunshine this is a lovely piece... very nicely done ;-) |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Excellent theme, my Sunshiny friend... It develops beautifully. That's one of the most difficult parts of writing a pantoum. Your lines have to be 'open' enough to intertwine throughout, all the while building upon theme... You've done it beautifully...  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A wonderful sprite told me recently I sometimes don't know where your themes are or words to that effect and it got me to thinking that free verse isn't all it's cracked up to be without a theme... yet she enjoyed my themeless writes for reasons she cannot yet explain... yet we both saw that a pantoum needs a theme... so Nan, if this caught your like, then I learned two lessons... both as valuable as the responses here.. thank you! [This message has been edited by Sunshine (03-09-2002 10:08 AM).] |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Exactly as Nan says Sunshine, great theme! Well done! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Karilea~ Very, very nicely done, poetess~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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