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I always wonder - triolet
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I always wonder - triolet |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands 
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I always wonder where it has been, when the wind is blowing hard. Wind itself has never been seen, I always wonder where it has been. Sometimes it's soft, sometimes it's mean, was it at your place, it did start? I always wonder where it has been, when the wind is blowing hard. I always wonder where it has been, when the rain turns into snow If there's too much it can be mean I always wonder where it has been, by some the snow has never been seen The wind is moving it by a soft blow I always wonder where it has been when the rain turns into snow A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... Check out my new website: lookheretitia.fcpages.com (I didn't 'link' this, so it won't take too much space).I |
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| © Copyright 2002 Titia Geertman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Oh boy, you wrote two!  Well, 1=4=7 and 2=8, your rhyme scheme is ok, but - argh, don't hate me for asking this - I get the feeling you've been trying to translate a "feeling" (from Dutch?) and I'm not sure what you're trying to say. Could you fill me in please? |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Thanks Munda, What I ment was: I like to imagine where the wind has been before it hits me. It's just a little game I play. Didn't came out quite well I suppose, the meaning that is. Oh well, it was just a try. Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Oh sheesh Titia, you wonder where it's all been as well? Thank goodness! I feel MUCH better now! Lovely pieces here! |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Thanks for explaining Titia. "Didn't came out quite well I suppose, the meaning that is. Oh well, it was just a try." LOL You didn't think I'd let you get away with it that easily, did ya?  Come on gal! With a little effort you can change this to what you actually want it to say! After all... that's what the Workshop is about isn't it? Play with words, learn and the occasional spitball from Pete.  |
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Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
Titia--I WILL wonder where the wind has been now that you mention it. I always just wanted a fierce wind to ease up. Now I will think about it touching others before it comes to me. It is a kind wind that has been connecting all of us. This is a wonderful group of people and I'm enjoying reading the poems. Just getting started with y'all and hope to become better acquainted. I'm learning lots! Shenachie |
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Casidy Junior Member
since 2002-01-27
Posts 36The Heart of Texas |
I could see the game that you were playing Titia ;-)... this is wonderful... I loved how you carried over into the second stanza with the repeat... gave me inspiration... I did lose the meter on the first stanza seventh line a little bit with the question... but over all this is such a fun piece... would be nice to see more to it also! |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hi Titia, Sorry to be so slow in getting to this one but my employer insists that I work at least part time. Both of these are very nice. They left me with a really pleasant feeling and that's a good thing. I too like the way you have carried over the lines from the first to the second. And your rhyme scheme was good, at least for your "side of the pond." As Munda pointed out in another thread, been can be a troublesome word since it can sound quite different depending on where it is spoken. I still think it is ok here though. Good job, Pete |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I got it - I did know what you were saying... It works for me.. I too wonder sometimes where the wind and rain have been... and where they're going.. I like this - Nicely said, sheepish one...  |
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