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First attempt ever at English Sonnet
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First attempt ever at English Sonnet |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Oops, of course that should be "first". Sorry. : ) Flying on the strong winds of illusion, higher than any eagle ever flies, pushing aside all human intrusion, dreaming away until night once more dies . Building my castles on cloud number nine, enlightement through touch of an Angel’s wing, encounter with Spirits of such divine, fills my soul with a love, it makes it sing. Universal awareness fills my heart, with stars in my eyes I gaze at the Moon to Mother Earth and heavens starry yard hope my dreamers path doesn’t end too soon, Tears like a dewdrop greet morning’s first light, the day’s worth living, farewell to this night. ARGH, this meter thing is killing me slowly ! : ) Well, I tried and am stuck now. All suggestions are welcome and much appreciated. I probably just steal them all ! ; ) [This message has been edited by Munda (edited 11-05-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Munda - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
great start... this will really be a great sonnet once you work out the argh... meter thing... looks like to me that a Dutch sonnet is going to be nothing to sneeze at... the only suggestion I can make Munda is to go to a Shakespeare sonnet site and read sonnets aloud and feel the rhythm... |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
*G*, thanks Mike. (blush) I happen to know they have a great page here with probably all the Shakespeare's sonnets on them, so I suppose I'll be doing a lot of reading out loud tomorrow. LOL ! Thanks for the tip. : ) Nan, I understand I need a 10 da-dum-da-dum beat for this, but I don't understand the difference between the da and the DUM. Could you please da-DUM this out for me, so I can see where my meter is of and understand the difference of how it sounds and how it should sound ? Hmm, seems we are creating a whole new "da-Dum lingo" here. : ) |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Sorry, that was double. Don't know what happened here. : ) [This message has been edited by Munda (edited 11-06-1999).] |
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Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
No help on ta DUM here, Munda. I'm waiting to see if mine are TA dum or ta DUM. Not sure I know the difference my self. I do like the imagery of your poem. Just could not find anything for mine. Am still looking though. I think the last two lines are suppose to be seperate from the body of the poem. I may just come over here and sit by you in class. Maybe I can learn something! LOL |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Ohme I just checked out the Shakespeare sonnet page and guess what ?? He didn't seperate any lines ! LOL ! And please do come and sit next to me. I'm sure I will be the one learning lots ! : ) |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
I know one thing....I have the DUM thing down real easy!!!!! get it??? hehehehehe ------------------ if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming. |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
LOL ! Who ever said there was a clown in class. ; ) Da-di-di-DUM-ti-DUM... |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Munda, you have constucted a very good poem here. It is not surprising that you are having some trouble with meter, if your native language is not English (hope I'm not making an ass of myself here by assuming). English is a very annoying language to learn!  You asked what the difference between a "da" and a "DUM" is -- well, I have some examples here that I hope will help: Iambic words have syllables which are unstressed and stressed, in turn. For example (the uppercase receives the stress): reLEASE fareWELL inTRUsion Notice that "intrusion," though it has more than two syllables, follows the iambic pattern of da-DUM-da, and in a sonnet would be followed by a stressed word: "The dawn's intrusion warmed me like a flame" da / DUM / da-DUM-da /DUM / da /DUM/da/DUM I separated the individual words with slashes, in case the alignment screws up when I post this. If you need more help with I.P., feel free to email me or, if you have ICQ, look me up: #48594509 --Kess |
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