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Chilled to the Bone
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Chilled to the Bone |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
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Chilled to the Bone A simple piece of wisdom - that is that When winter winds kick up an icy chill Never leave the house without a hat While drudging through the snow o’er yonder hill When winter winds kick up an icy chill You hear the crunch beneath each heavy boot While drudging through the snow o’er yonder hill The freezing wind leaves cracking lips quite mute You hear the crunch beneath each heavy boot Uncovered head in blustery air so fresh The freezing wind leaves cracking lips quite mute And ears in danger of frost bitten flesh Uncovered head in blustery air so fresh Reminding you of mothers good advice And ears in danger of frost bitten flesh Feel as though they are encased in ice Reminding you of mother’s good advice Your bones absorbing coldness of it all Feel as though they are encased in ice And doomed to be until the springtime thaw Never leave the house without a hat A simple piece of wisdom - that is that Elizabeth Santos [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 12-05-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Yikes! I goofed! I looked up the definition of pantoum but the form they defined was different. I'll have to try again, as soon as I have time Liz |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Liz, I actually read this a few days ago but was too pressed for time to reply .As to the form, 2nd and 4th become 1st and 3rd through-out so I assume you're referring to the final stanza . In any case it makes an excellent read , and yes , I'll try to remember , Mom ! Doc |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This one is one I will study, for form, structure and order! What is that you express in your eyes? It seems to me more than all the words I have read in my life. Walt Whitman |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Kathleen, whatever you do, don't use this as an example. Use Dr. Moose. Mine is incorrect, I believe Good luck! Liz |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Elizabeth goof or not, it's really fun to read! I enjoyed! |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Oh no Liz, you didn't goof ! Re-write two lines, add them to the final stanza and you've got Pantoum !  I think you're meter is a little off here and there, but LOL what do I know about meter. I'm Dutch so I'll leave that up to Nan hehe. I'm sure with your talent it'll be a piece of cake.  Great first attempt Liz! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
What a bunch of miscreants... They're so adept at breaking the rules, I hardly notice anymore...  |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Well, I don't mind if it is not quite a pantoum.. 'coz it's a great read, whatever form it is.. this is so neat Liz! ^_^ Lynne |
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