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hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

0 posted 2000-07-09 08:17 AM


kind of cheated in this class as I had my poem written before the class started, but anyway, here's mine  

In Haunting Notes

It was a brisk November night
When I rode into that town
Feeling saddle sore and weary
Looking only to bed down.

My clothes were dark with trail dirt
My chaps were wearing thin.
The wind was blowing from the east
And cutting to my skin.

Every hoof fall kicked up dust
Upon that darkened street.
I hitched up next to the saloon
To get a bite to eat.

My boot heels struck upon the wood.
Sounds echoed in the night.
The streets were bare and silent,
Not a single soul in sight.

Soft orange light reflected out,
Cast shadows on the ground
And from the depths of that saloon
I heard a haunting sound.

A voice so soft and full of grace
Was carried out to me;
The tantalizing notes she sang,
I simply had to see.

I entered through the swinging doors
And saw her standing there
In dress of red and deep blue eyes
Framed with auburn hair.

She looked at me and flashed a smile
That lit her entire face.
I wondered what a girl like that
Was doing in this place.

I bellied right up to the bar,
Then ordered up a drink.
Captured in the spell she cast,
I found it hard to think.

Her eyes caught mine across the room;
I couldn’t look away
And when she finished her last song,
She turned and came my way.

“Hey cowboy,  it looks like to me
You’re lonely and bone tired
And you should know, a girl like me
Prefers to be admired.

I got myself a room upstairs
Here in this one horse town.
I’ve got a bed just right for two.
You’re welcome to bed down.”

She smiled once more, I couldn’t speak;
She reached to take my arm;
Then led me to her room upstairs,
I, spellbound by her charm.

“Welcome to my home,” she said.
She opened up the door.
The room was dark, a single lamp
Cast shadows on the floor.

She led me to the bed and stood
Before me in the night
Slipped her clothes off,  piece by piece,
Outlined in dimming light.

Each sensual curve was accented.
She stood before me there.
I reached to pull her towards me,
Hands running through her hair.

A chain of gold graced her fair neck
From which a locket dangled.
She climbed in bed, right next to me,
Our bodies soon entangled.

We loved and talked all through the night.
I drifted off near dawn
And in the early morning hours
I woke to find her gone.

Hazy light was filtered in
Through a window marred with dust;
Next to me, lay on the bed
The locket dull with rust.

I picked it up and opened it
Where, much to my surprise,
I found a picture old and worn
That made me doubt my eyes.

The picture was in black and white.
It bore the test of time.
The face, though, that it held within
Was no one else but mine.

I had to find her, had to know
What this was all about.
I threw my clothes on in a rush
And from the room ran out.

I took the steps two at a time.
I had to find that girl.
But what I saw as I looked down
Caused my head to swirl.

The saloon lay still and empty.
Silence filled the air.
Old broken bottles packed the bar
Not a soul was there.

Tables and chairs were brown with rot.
Dust coated all with white.
But what I saw when I looked down
Was the most unnerving sight.

The floor lay thick encased in sand
That had blown in through the door
Disturbed by just my set of prints
Where ‘we’d’ walked the night before.

I ran outside to only find
The town stood in decay.
I jumped onto my waiting horse
And quickly rode away.

Years have passed, since that cold night
In that forgotten town.
Now on my stand, the locket rests.
Some nights I take it down.

I open it to see my face,
A picture from the past.
I’ve questions I can’t answer and
There’s no one that I can ask.

Sometimes at night, she calls to me
From somewhere in my dreams
And I’m forced to remind myself
All’s never what it seems.

So cowboy if you find yourself
On the trail some cold , dark night
And run into a quiet town
Where something seems not right.

Beware the girl with auburn hair
And mesmerizing voice;
Just saddle up and ride away
While you still have a choice.

She haunts the town, still in search of
A love lost long ago
And once you’re captured in her spell
She will not let you go.

Best mark my words, I see her face
Bathed in that dim light
Where in my dreams, she haunts me still
Every single night.





To love means never to be afraid of the windstorms of life: should you shield the canyons from the windstorms you would never see the true beauty of their carvings. ~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

© Copyright 2000 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
1 posted 2000-07-10 02:55 PM


Ruth,
My command over this form of writing being minimal almost naught, I refrain from making any critique at all. In fact I wrote my first ever ballad and posted it for the workshop. I hope that I can learn from it...

But I can admit this for sure, I liked reading the poem very much... It was a most enjoyable tale, well spun, beautifully crafted too... Lets see what the experts say...

regards,
Sudhir

toes21
Junior Member
since 2000-07-09
Posts 24

2 posted 2000-07-10 04:01 PM


Cute and well said is your poem, it was a pleasure to have read it cowboy.  
Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
3 posted 2000-07-10 05:30 PM


Well done, "cowboy". A fascinating and haunting tale with just enough undertones to keep anyone's interest.

Hmmmm, I wonder if Nan will still let me sign up for this session. This is a darn good inspiration.

Thanks,
Pete

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
4 posted 2000-07-11 08:56 AM


Thanks Sudhair and Toes...but I don't think my syllable count is to par in this one

Oh Pete...to have inspired you puts a smile on my face...please do join in  

[This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 07-11-2000).]

Ted Reynolds
Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331

5 posted 2000-07-11 03:20 PM


Your syllable count may have been a little off, but once a reader gets into the mood of it, who's counting syllables, huh?  Well done, I might dream this one tonight.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
6 posted 2000-07-12 08:57 AM


Thank you Ted  
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
7 posted 2000-07-15 11:03 AM


Hey Hoot... This is intriguing... While you've taken some license with your format (not an uncommon happenstance with seasoned poets), your theme is wonderfully exemplary of what a true ballad is all about.  You've taken your reader on a great ride - and your poem is so lyrical, we can all envision singing it as we ride the stage into town... I really like this - and it's nice to see you cruising through..
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
8 posted 2000-07-19 12:15 PM


Thanks Nan and it's great to make an appearance here now and then as I miss my friends here deeply  
Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
9 posted 2000-07-19 05:22 PM


Hi Ruth....great to see you in the Workshop agai.   This is amazing ! Is it a ballad ? LOL Heck, I have no idea anymore.....I guess I read too much.  
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
10 posted 2000-07-21 04:55 PM


LOL Munda...your guess is as good as mine. I guess it's my own variation of a ballad  
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