»
Main Forums
»
Poetry Workshop
»
The Surrender (first draft villanelle)
| Poetry Workshop |
|
The Surrender (first draft villanelle) |
|
|
Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap 
|
This didn't quite go where I thought it would, but when the words start flowing, I find it easier to follow than to lead ... so here it is, my poetic peers: The Surrender Seductive and sublime the tender night: Caress of starlight holds me in its sway; Enchanted moon bespells my mortal sight. The noise of colour fades; this silvered light Becalms the clash of hues to soothing gray: Seductive and sublime, the tender night. Fair Luna, in her slow and graceful flight, Holds fast my gaze -- I cannot look away -- Enchanted moon bespells my mortal sight. In shadow robed, I mouth the darkling rite, Renouncing evermore the bane of day: Seductive and sublime the tender night. Celestial queen, her countenance alight With royal air, commanding me to stay: Enchanted moon bespells my mortal sight. This summons, I am powerless to fight: It beckons to my soul; I must obey. Seductive and sublime the tender night; Enchanted moon bespells my mortal sight. ------------------ "Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus" (Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.") [This message has been edited by Nochtdraco (edited 10-07-1999).] [This message has been edited by Nochtdraco (edited 10-08-1999).] |
||
| © Copyright 1999 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Starith Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 176Leesburg, FL USA |
Bravo! This is truly enchanting. I like what you did with it. Beatuiful work as always.  Star ------------------ We are only truly apperciated after we are no more! |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Bows in humble tribute to a work of art....well done, very well done indeed. I love what you did with this, the meter and rhyme are about as perfect as they can get. Nice job!! |
||
|
Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Tee hee ... just reviewed the form; it seems I'm short a tercet! Working on it ...  Nocht [This message has been edited by Nochtdraco (edited 10-07-1999).] |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
LOL...I'll be darned, so you are...I was so caught up in it I didn't even notice....go to the front of the class and write on the blackboard 1000 times "I will not forget my tercet!!" |
||
|
Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
I will not forget my fifth tercet... I will not forget my fifth tercet... I will not forget my fifth tercet... I will not forget my fifth tercet... We interrupt this program for a breaking news brief ... the missing tercet has been found, and returned to it's rightful place in Nocht's villanelle ... |
||
|
Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
hehehe...I didn't notice either!  This is, well...wow...this is good. |
||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
I noticed teacher! I noticed! (kissing up!) Hurry though nought! I live the imagery here! |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Nice work indeed... I always do enjoy reading your postings, though - so I expect nothing less than great! Your format is well-done - Your iambic pentameter is flawless - and your theme is entrancing... Aside from all that, you've incorporated some great imagery - personification - to be more specific. I really enjoyed this one... |
||
|
Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Thank you all ... this was indeed a challenge, and I am looking forward to the next workshop ... now off to read the rest of the finished products that I haven't yet read ... I'm sure they'll all be great ... Nocht |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||