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AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE

0 posted 2000-04-07 01:55 PM



A pebble rides the tides

A pebble in the ocean
      rides the waves
The tides roar
     announcing their arrival.
Kissing the shore
     they withdraw
Only to return with the tide
      that flies it to the moon
Dauntless though
      the waters unknown
Reach for the stars
     a million years away
A pebble rides
     the ocean waves
And not always can
     the tides be heard
But silence could speak
     a thousand words
The tides could draw it in
     and swallow
Could kill enthusiasm
     leaving it hopeless
Then crush it's bones
     making it weary
Still taking the chance
     to go the distance
To explore the unknown
     and the unfamiliar
What lies ahead
      what's lost behind
Above the earth
     beneath the sky
A pebble rides
     the ocean waves

< !signature-->

 If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao


[This message has been edited by AVANTI (edited 04-18-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 AVANTI - All Rights Reserved
Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
1 posted 2000-04-10 08:19 AM


Ok, ok, I think I understand extended metaphor now after reading three wonderful poems.   I write about something but mean something totally different ! Ha ! Thanks Avanti.   By the way did I already mention I like this very much ? I do, I do like this very, very much.  
AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
2 posted 2000-04-10 09:15 AM


thanx munda...
I'm glad you liked it...
I'm looking foward to yours...
see ya then...
oops I almost forgot...!
(((((((hug))))))))

 If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
3 posted 2000-04-10 09:29 PM


Your pebble speaks volumes, AVANTI... You do a nice job of expressing the limitless desires of your tiny "pebble" -
quote:

         Kissing the shore they withdraw...only to return
         And with the tide that flies it to the moon
         Dauntless though the waters unknown...
         Reaching for the stars...a million years away...


...as it is thrust to the stars....good lines ... and the unsurpassed power of the great oceans that lend the pebble it's passage.... I like this poem, AVANTI... I'll have to read more of your work, for sure..    





[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 04-10-2000).]

warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

4 posted 2000-04-11 12:03 PM


Very nice, Avanti. This is a very soothing poem, with beautiful images. I liked this a lot.

Kris

 the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare

AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
5 posted 2000-04-11 01:18 AM


Thanx Nan...I'am  
and also you want to read more...
I feel proud...a lil...
thanx you warmhrt...
I wanted to write something with a purpose but you know sometimes you get carried away and with all the tecnical aspects...this one i started out with keeping extended metaphor's in mind...but somewhere down it was just my heart...so I donno if it's extended metaphor's...
LOL...



 If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao

Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
6 posted 2000-04-11 05:28 PM


Avanti,

I don't really know much about this stuff but the idea of a pebble being flung about by the ocean seems like a very good metaphor for the throes of life. And you certainly extended it right to the end.

But it's a good thing that Trevor hasn't seen all those little dotty thingys (I don't think he comes in here). He would hate that. In truth though, I think it also distracts me a little too. Good job here.

Pete

jbouder
Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash
7 posted 2000-04-12 12:44 PM


Avanti:

This is a well written assignment.  I'm sure Nan will give you an excellent grade (as long as Kris doesn't try to blame her barrage of spit balls on you).  I liked this.

Jim

AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
8 posted 2000-04-12 02:29 PM


thank you again Ruth...
I remain greatful...and happy that you took a look...
bye ...


 If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao

AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
9 posted 2000-04-12 02:37 PM


thanx not a poet...
ya you are right...
we are like pebbles that ride troubled waters...
why do you hate the tiny dots???
Jbouder...
you gimmmi reasom to  
thank you...

 If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao

Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
10 posted 2000-04-12 05:34 PM


Nope, you misunderstood. I didn't say I hate the dots but that Trevor does. In fact, I often use them. But they usually have a specific purpose, either to indicate an elipsis (missing elements) or a poetic pause, usually longer than a period. I really don't think either of those is intended or necessary here, thus they are just confusing. If I am missing the point here, please advise as to their intended purpose. Don't mean to be a   or anything, I just find them distracting from an otherwise nice piece of writing.


 Pete

What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity --
sufficiently sublime in their simplicity --
for the mere enunciation of my theme?
Edgar Allan Poe



Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
11 posted 2000-04-13 07:11 AM


Yeah, well... I always pause when I'm talking... It gives me a few seconds of thinking time..... so... these little "dit-dit" ellipsis thingies work for me.... I sure hope I didn't scare Trevor away......
AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
12 posted 2000-04-13 04:40 PM


ya i have to go with NAN on that...
I always use that pause...
its gives me time to ponder...i donno why but i always use it...
but...i'll keep in mind Not a poet
Thanx...

 If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
13 posted 2000-04-18 10:09 AM


Lovely poem...check your mail  
AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
14 posted 2000-04-18 01:08 PM


thank you again Ruth!
you are really a "big" help..



 If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao

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