Poetry Workshop |
So how about a Pair of Dells?? |
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You want a little difficulty, Doc. Perhaps this may whet your appetite... Paradelle More of a word puzzle, the paradelle is a very difficult format to master. A paradelle is a repetition of lines, with each stanza ending in two lines which use all of the words in the previous lines. Also, the last stanza uses all of the words from all previous stanzas. Below is an example. Winter Night is cold and lonely Night is cold and lonely Still the tempest does turn Still the tempest does turn Cold tempest is still night and turn does the lonely. Sparkles of ice glitter Sparkles of ice glitter Cloudy breath floats away Cloudy breath floats away Breath of cloudy sparkles away ice breath glitter. Winter brings it's caress Winter brings it's caress Delight rewards the soul Delight rewards the soul Winter rewards delight it's soul brings the caress. Winter glitter sparkles and tempest floats away it's cloudy soul does turn the ice of lonely night caress is the rewards still breath brings cold delight. ©1999 Wordsmith Have fun |
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© Copyright 2011 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I gave it a shot, but want to look it over tomorrow before posting it. Oh what the heck ... here it is. I am going to try again tomorrow. - Moss carpets the tundra Moss carpets the tundra A damp bed of lush green A damp bed of lush green Carpets of a lush moss bed the green tundra. Cotton grass bends slowly Cotton grass bends slowly Catches a summer breeze Catches a summer breeze A breeze catches cotton bends summer grass slowly. Flowers grow in tussocks Flowers grow in tussocks Shows delicate beauty Shows delicate beauty Grow delicate flowers beauty shows in tussocks The green summer tundra Catches a lush beauty Moss flowers grow slowly Damp, delicate grass bed Flowers carpet tussocks A breeze bends cotton - Alison |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Alison, you don't understand. This assignment was supposed to be difficult. You made it look easy!! You continue to amaze, my friend |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you! I still want to try it again. |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Balladeer she did, didn't she, why am I not surprised. Well, I did a little research and here's what I came up with, forgive me , it's a little "wordy". As this form "paradelle" was contrived as a joke, As this form "Paradelle" was contrived as a joke, to make fun of the strict forms like the "Villanelle", to make fun of the strict forms like the "villanelle" Was contrived as a joke, this form, the "paradelle", forms to make, like fun of, strict forms as "Villanelle". With its twists and its turns and repetitive words, with its twists and its turns and repetitive words, one can see why a poet does find it absurd, one can see why a poet does find it absurd, find a poet can see, and why it twists its words with repetitive turns and one does it absurd. Most peculiar a poem that's a puzzle indeed, most peculiar a poem that's a puzzle indeed, 'bout as much fun to write as it ought be to read, 'bout as much fun to write as it ought be to read. A fun puzzle to write 'bout as ought be indeed, that's a poem much as it, most peculiar to read. Most absurd turns this poem as repetitive words paradelle to make fun of like form, villanelle. As to read it's a joke, it's a puzzle indeed, write this one with the twists and find that's contrived fun. As it was, the "ought to" a peculiar why does, see it and, form it strict, much as a poet can. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Doc, why do I feel like I need a drink after reading yours??? Very clever, medical man, however with sentences like.. forms to make, like fun of, strict forms as "Villanelle". that's a poem much as it, most peculiar to read. see it and, form it strict, much as a poet can. find a poet can see, and why it twists its words... this round goes to miss ALison |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Doc M, yours is clever and so are you! Thank you both, my friends! |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Balladeer, I must agree whole-heartedly ( nice job Alison ) The more words you add, the more difficult it becomes to juggle them around and maintain any type of sentence structure, much less have it make any kind of sense and maintain rhyme and meter.( I didn't look that hard, but none of the examples I saw used rhyme). All that being said , I think this is quite possibly the worst thing I have ever written that still adheres to the rules of the form. Points for "Worst" place? Doc |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Point taken....and given |
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Amberzlynnc Member
since 2010-08-24
Posts 229New Jersey |
Noise escapes her mouth Noise escapes her mouth Lingering are loud and obnoxious sounds Lingering are loud and obnoxious sounds Obnoxious noise escapes her mouth and loud sounds are lingering. She screams her feelings She screams her feelings and yells her excitement and yells her excitement. Her excitement, her feelings she yells and screams. Sporadic jolts of energy Sporadic jolts of energy My ears, pierced by shrieking My ears, pierced by shrieking Sporadic shrieking jolts my ears, pierced by energy. Sporadic noise she screams Her jolts are loud and lingering. Sounds pierced my ears. Obnoxious screams, she yells of energy, excitement, and feelings. *Amber |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Since the assignment was for a "Pair", here's the other half of mine. Doc Perhaps moderate skill perhaps moderate skill would place them at your hand would place them at your hand and compel to your will and compel to your will using words of command using words of command slight them then, what you say slight them then, what you say have them bending, obey, have them bending, obey! Bending words to your will place them at your command. Using moderate skill, and perhaps slight of hand. Then compel them, obey what you would have them say! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Amberzlynnc, that was ideal!!! You followed all the rules and the poem was excellent...nice work!! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ah, Moose, I know I should be more careful around you! Your pair wins |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Balladeer, Thank you m'friend. Actually, in my travels with the "way-back" machine, Nan brought this form up, and offered some advice as to how to make it work. "Reverse engineering" is not a bad idea. Do your final stanza, to make it say what you want, and then go back and re-word the rest of the lines. Also, it helps if your wording is strong enough to bear the repeat, and some of your words may be used in more than one context. Ah, the good old days. Doc |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
The good old days...when Nan taught you how to do things? Gee, that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Balladeer, Au contraire my good friend, did I fail to mention the good "new" days. Forgive me, for I have sinned by omission. Doc |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ah, ok, Doc. I shall anoint my bruised ego with Preparation H and move on |
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ken206573 Member
since 2008-10-14
Posts 487 |
I hope this poem is ok with you, I may try to give you another. If it's not right. The Midnight Garden Stars dance for tonight Stars dance for tonight Ocean sing softly Ocean sing softly Tonight ocean dance for stars softly sing A child looks above A child looks above Sky splashed true colors Sky splashed true colors Looks above a sky child splashed colors true Flowers from cupid Flowers from cupid Her love sweetly ends Her love sweetly ends From her flowers ends cupid love sweetly Sweetly cupid splashed colors for her love softly flowers dance above a child sing from stars ocean ends sky looks true tonight |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ken, this is very good work! You follow the form perfectly and create some very excellent lines. If there is any criticism for me to make it would be the incorrect tenses, such as "ocean sing", "ocean dance", "child sing". They do not add to the fluidity of the lines. The last stanza (except for child sing) is spectacular! All in all, I'd say you did a terrific job! |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Ken, This is lovely. Hope you continue to participate here in the PW. It's fun. A |
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Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Alison, you poem is breathtaking. I love the serenity and the greening. Stunning write, Scribe. A rose at your feet. |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Wow! Karen, thank you. I do believe that I can go to bed a happy woman now. You made me smile. |
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