Sherlockian Challenge #2 - pipTalk Forums

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Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2009-07-20 11:51 AM

Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892 â€“ 1950)

Recuerdo

We were very tired, we were very merryâ€”
We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry.
It was bare and bright, and smelled like a stableâ€”
But we looked into a fire, we leaned across a table,
We lay on a hill-top underneath the moon;
And the whistles kept blowing, and the dawn came soon.

We were very tired, we were very merryâ€”
We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry;
And you ate an apple, and I ate a pear,
From a dozen of each we had bought somewhere;
And the sky went wan, and the wind came cold,
And the sun rose dripping, a bucketful of gold.

We were very tired, we were very merry,
We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry.
We hailed "Good morrow, mother!" to a shawl-covered head,
And bought a morning paper, which neither of us read;
And she wept, "God bless you!" for the apples and pears,
And we gave her all our money but our subway fares.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

1 posted 2009-07-20 12:39 PM

"And we gave her all our money but our subway fares"

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

2 posted 2009-07-20 01:21 PM

Yep, that is definitely one....but there are a ton of them. As far as proper construction is concerned, this poem is a mess. Find the others and then try to find how the lines could be better-constructed. form-wise.

Actually, I have her complete works in my library and I enjoy her work. I just don't expect to find good meter or rythm in them. Her poetry is basically meant to be read, I think, where the reader can jury-rig the sentences to make them sound good.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

3 posted 2009-07-20 01:43 PM

that's me, I like to jury-rig them to sound smooth

M

rachaelfuchsberger

Senior Member

since 2007-02-21

Posts 609
Las Vegas, NV

4 posted 2009-07-20 02:33 PM

And you ate an apple, and I ate a pear

It's missing a syllable.

Arana Darkwolf

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

5 posted 2009-07-20 11:45 PM

Actually, Rachel, that is one of the few good lines, meter-wise

rachaelfuchsberger

Senior Member

since 2007-02-21

Posts 609
Las Vegas, NV

6 posted 2009-07-21 02:10 PM

I think I got confused because it has one less syllable than the previous line.

Arana Darkwolf

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