Poetry Workshop |
Sherlockian Challenge #2 |
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892 – 1950) Recuerdo We were very tired, we were very merry— We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry. It was bare and bright, and smelled like a stable— But we looked into a fire, we leaned across a table, We lay on a hill-top underneath the moon; And the whistles kept blowing, and the dawn came soon. We were very tired, we were very merry— We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry; And you ate an apple, and I ate a pear, From a dozen of each we had bought somewhere; And the sky went wan, and the wind came cold, And the sun rose dripping, a bucketful of gold. We were very tired, we were very merry, We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry. We hailed "Good morrow, mother!" to a shawl-covered head, And bought a morning paper, which neither of us read; And she wept, "God bless you!" for the apples and pears, And we gave her all our money but our subway fares. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
"And we gave her all our money but our subway fares" |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Yep, that is definitely one....but there are a ton of them. As far as proper construction is concerned, this poem is a mess. Find the others and then try to find how the lines could be better-constructed. form-wise. Actually, I have her complete works in my library and I enjoy her work. I just don't expect to find good meter or rythm in them. Her poetry is basically meant to be read, I think, where the reader can jury-rig the sentences to make them sound good. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
that's me, I like to jury-rig them to sound smooth M |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
And you ate an apple, and I ate a pear It's missing a syllable. Arana Darkwolf |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Actually, Rachel, that is one of the few good lines, meter-wise |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
I think I got confused because it has one less syllable than the previous line. Arana Darkwolf |
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