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Balladeer
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0 posted 2009-07-01 04:32 PM


Trilonnet

Trilonnet, created by Shelley A. Cephas, is a 14-line poem made up of four three-line verses
of 8 syllables (iambic tetrameter) and one rhyming couplet or four three-lined verses of 10
syllables (iambic pentameter) and one rhyming couplet.

Each 3 line verse is an unrhymed triplet. Each triplet has a rhyme scheme of abc. It is related
to a sonnet in that it made up of 14 lines. There are 2 rhyme schemes for this form:

abc abc abc abc dd
or
abc cba abc cba dd

This form is written in either iambic tetrameter or iambic pentameter.


Example #1:

Summer Daze

A summer chill not often felt
when sunshine is so strong and bright
in season of delight and fun.

Oppressive heat, it has been dealt
as tempers flare, burn and ignite;
dog days of summer are not done.

Each year to wonder how we’ve dwelt
with heat while waiting for the night
to end the sweltering hot sun.

So hopefully we will not melt
before fall comes and ends our plight,
a respite from the heat is won.

The summer months have slowly passed,
humidity is gone at last.


Copyright © 2007 Shelley A. Cephas

Example #2:

Fairy Light

New fairies flit in skies above
to shower joy on those below
that live in their enchanted lair.

They show their grace and kindly care,
protect wee people from each foe,
their fairy dust will get rid of.
  
This is one way they show their love,
these tiny fairies all aglow
with joy and happiness to share.
  
So fairies are beyond compare,
their peace they lovingly will show
in gentleness like a pure dove.
  
Forever they will live their lives
to make sure their lair always thrives.

Copyright © 2007 Shelley A. Cephas


Sounds easy enough to me. I'm getting soft in my old age, passing out such easy assignments.

Show me.......


© Copyright 2009 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
rachaelfuchsberger
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1 posted 2009-07-01 04:41 PM


I think I just had an epiphany for how to fix my problem with meter. If I'm counting syllables, and counting lines (i.e. three line stanzas with eight syllables each being iambic pentameter) then I have my meter...right?

Arana Darkwolf

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2 posted 2009-07-01 05:02 PM


Congrats on your epiphany, Rachel!! You got it...now do it!
Oklahoma Rose
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3 posted 2009-07-01 06:03 PM


Now, this has me worried. You never seem to give up on me. It is your faith in me, that keeps me trying. But, I do get very frustrated. Oh my, do I get frustrated. As you know, meter is something I have been trying to get down pat for a very long time. Sometimes, I tell myself, "what's the use" I'm never going to get it. But, Balladeer, my friend, you know me! I'M NOT A QUITTER! Even though, I feel very stupid at times. Nothing would make me happier, than to be able to get the meter down perfectly, and never forget it.

Thank you, Balladeer, my friend for all you encouragement. And, for not giving up on me.
You know how much I admire you.

P.S. There must be a way for someone like me (slow to get it) to learn the meter.

rachaelfuchsberger
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4 posted 2009-07-01 06:30 PM


My Triumph Over Meter

I had a big epiphany
And I think I can conquer it
That mysterious meter thing

My mind is a cacophony
For inside the light bulb has lit
And to the forefront I can bring

Teeming with words of symphony
The work through which my teeth have grit
So I can have words and rhymes sing

Maybe works like “Mony Mony”
Will come out when my words are writ
And my hands will no longer wring

Now here before me is something that I ought
In younger days to have already caught

Arana Darkwolf

rachaelfuchsberger
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5 posted 2009-07-01 08:47 PM


I think my stresses are on odd words and syllables, but it's still a triumph for me because I found the secret to meter.
rachaelfuchsberger
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6 posted 2009-07-01 08:52 PM


Do You Know How To Spell My Name?

Do you know how to spell my name?
There is an r there is an a
There is a c and there’s an h

Will you play my little name game?
There is just one more little a
Then there is an e yet to etch

Are you thinking it’s a bit lame?
There is not another small a
Just a little l now to fetch

Now you know how to spell my name.
There’s r a c h and an a
Then an e and an l to wretch

Rachael is my name so for sure you know
Together now we’ll continue to grow

Arana Darkwolf

Oklahoma Rose
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7 posted 2009-07-01 09:47 PM


What is the secret to meter,
rachaelfuchsberger? Or, are you going to keep that to yourself? LOL!

rachaelfuchsberger
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8 posted 2009-07-01 10:46 PM


LOL...the secret is to count syllables and lines.

Arana Darkwolf

Oklahoma Rose
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9 posted 2009-07-01 11:35 PM


Rachaelfuchsberger, the counting of syllables and lines are fine. But to have a good meter, you have to know where the stresses are. Like for Iambic Pentemeter, Iambic Tetrameter and so forth. Try as I might, I just don't get that. Do you?
Balladeer
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10 posted 2009-07-02 12:45 PM


Rose, you are so right!

Rachel, you need to put the accents in the right places. Iambic is an unaccented syllable followed by an accented one.

i HAD a BIG ePIPHaNY....is perfect iambic.
THAT mysTERiOUS METer THING....is not.

Your second poem has very little iambic in it. Work on the accents....da DUM da DUM da DUM.

It takes work but I'm sure you can do it

Dr.Moose1
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11 posted 2009-07-02 08:33 AM


Congratulations Balladeer!
You worried that no one would come
and that your efforts were for naught.

You stayed the course now it appears
your words are like a trail of crumbs
attracting those who would be taught.

You had your doubts but now it's clear
or, as they say where I come from
no finer tutor could be sought

from any other hemisphere.
And, better yet there is no sum
applicable, or so I thought,

but naming ones' first born as you?
'fraid "Ballamoose" will never do!

[This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (07-03-2009 07:49 AM).]

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12 posted 2009-07-02 10:33 AM


Doc Moose,

You keep me laughing even while I admire your abilities to write.  You make it look easy - kinda like Balladeer does.  And you both make it look fun!  It is fun.

Thank you for this one to get my day going with a chuckle.

A

Dr.Moose1
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13 posted 2009-07-02 03:39 PM


Why, thank you Alison, that alone makes it well worth the effort.
Doc

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14 posted 2009-07-02 06:23 PM


LOL, Doc! No, I'm afraid Ballamoose just wouldn't do, unless one were from Belarus

As usual, your assignment is witty, well-crafted and mooseified.

If you hadn't stumbled here....

a finer tutor couldn't be bought

it would have been perfect..but then you would have no reason to keep coming to class

Oklahoma Rose
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15 posted 2009-07-02 07:53 PM


There's that darn meter, again. There's nothing more I would like, than to learn the meters well. But, it seems I have made myself look stupid enough already. Shall I continue making myself look like the class clown? There must be a way for someone like me to get this meter thing. I am soooooooooooo frustrated with myself.

[This message has been edited by Oklahoma Rose (07-02-2009 09:24 PM).]

Balladeer
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16 posted 2009-07-02 09:25 PM


Rose, you NEVER make yourself look stupid! What you make yourself look like is a good person willing to keep trying, putting your attempts out there for all to see even if you know it is difficult for you. That is something a lot of people just won't do but you are dedicated to keep trying to better yourself and that is something NO ONE will ever call stupid. Just hang in there, miss, and I'll be right with you all the way.
Oklahoma Rose
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17 posted 2009-07-02 09:33 PM


Thank you, Balladeer, my friend.
Dr.Moose1
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18 posted 2009-07-02 10:10 PM


Balladeer,
M'friend I'm afraid once again you have me at a loss. I read that line as being...
"a FINer TUtor COULDN'T be BOUGHT". As such I don't see where it stumbles.
Doc

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19 posted 2009-07-02 10:51 PM


Well, Doc, you have two choices and both of them are wrong. You can (and do say) that it's read this way..
"a FINer TUtor COULDN'T be BOUGHT".

in doint so I'm afraid you would have a hard sell claiming that "couldn't" has two accented syllables, instead of COULDn't. Even if you could sell me on that, then you would have two accented syllables together, which is not iambic.

If it is actually COULDn't then you would have two unaccented syllables together"..n't be", which is also not iambic.

I hope you're not advocating that "couldn't" is a one-syllable word. If you are, you are causing me to think of a body part not allowed to be spoken of here  

Dr.Moose1
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20 posted 2009-07-03 07:16 AM


Balladeer,
The second wrong choice I'm afraid was my downfall. I was indeed pronouncing the contraction as one syllable as in my somewhat illogically logical mind I failed to see the purpose of a contraction for a two syllable phrase "could not" which still contained two syllables "could.n't". Ah, English, what a language. Lol. Thanks for the correction. I've substituted " could be sought ".
Doc

[This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (07-03-2009 07:49 AM).]

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21 posted 2009-07-03 08:19 AM


...which makes it perfect. Your gold star is in the mail, sir
Alison
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22 posted 2009-07-03 12:15 PM


Yay for the Moose!



A

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23 posted 2009-07-03 12:16 PM


Darn you're (one syllable) good, Mr. Balladeer Guy!



A

.
.
.

Okay, okay I'll work on my lesson today!

Bridget Shenachie
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24 posted 2009-07-03 02:37 PM


Hi Balladeer!  I'm so glad that you are continuing the classes.  Since you have presented an assignment that you have labelled easy, I thought that I would give it a shot if it is not too late...

Here goes...

Since I have been away so long,
I thought that I would try to write
A trilonnet for Balladeer.

It's been a while so hold the gong,
As I attempt to reunite
In Michael's class, I persevere.

The more I try, I get it wrong,
So tell me how to get it right.
Sprung meter is my biggest fear.

I need to learn to finish strong,
So I will try with all my might
To make the pesky meter clear.

So 'Deer, this poem, I submit
please do advise if I should quit.

Shenachie

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25 posted 2009-07-03 08:45 PM


Yes, Bridget, you should quit....quit thinking that you have a problem with meter!

Your assignment is perfect..every accent in the right place with no deviation at all. Nicely done....and good to see you!

Bridget Shenachie
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26 posted 2009-07-03 09:18 PM


Thanks, Balladeer.  The truth is that I was concentrating so much on meter that my message was totally inane. Very kind of you to respond and I will be overjoyed when I finally bring message and meter together.

You are much appreciated, kind sir.  Stay well!

Bridget Shenachie

rachaelfuchsberger
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27 posted 2009-07-04 01:27 PM


I am absolutely determined to get this meter thing down....maybe the third time's the charm.

P.S. Rose, I think I've made a big fool of myself here. Maybe we can share the title of class clown?



Arana Darkwolf

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28 posted 2009-07-04 03:54 PM


Ok, Sir Balladeer. I have made a third attempt at a trilonnet, but it's a bit racy so I put it in "Love For Two" in the Mature section.

Arana Darkwolf

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29 posted 2009-07-04 07:18 PM


Rachel, I have copied your poem here because I do not consider it too mature or offensive for the workshop and it will more useful as a learning tool here.

Into your hands my soul awakes
Your touch it takes my innocence
I melt into your love so rough

My body quivers and it shakes
Each corded muscle becomes tense
Under your hands so gently gruff

Now all reason my mind forsakes
As I prepare for love intense
‘Till I can only say “enough”

And all the will I possess breaks
I beg “don’t keep me in suspense”
I need your hands so gently rough

And I can only beg and ask you “please”
“Fulfill the hunger only you can ease”


Well, Rachel, we are getting closer! Let's go line by line, shall we?

inTO your HANDS my SOUL aWAKES.........perfect iambic...good line!
your TOUCH it TAKES my INnoCENCE.........perfect iambic but you had to stick that "it" in there to get it. That's called fudging
i MELT inTO your LOVE so ROUGH..............perfect iambic again!

my BOdy QUIVers AND it SHAKES..............perfect iambic. You're on a roll!
each CORded MUScle beCOMES TENSE.....oops! You have two unaccented syllables together followed by two accented ones!
UNder your HANDS so GENtly GRUFF..........oops! You began with an accented syllable which put the next two unaccented ones together.

NOW all REAson my MIND forSAKES...........oops! Another trochaic beginning and two unaccented syllable together.
as I prePARE for LOVE inTENSE..................perfect iambic just in time!
till I can ONly SAY e NOUGH........................and perfect once more.

and ALL the WILL i posESS BREAKS...........oops! Back to two unaccented and two accented ones together.
i BEG don't KEEP me  IN susPENSE............OK, good. Back to iambic..
i NEED your HANDS so GENtly ROUGH........atta girl. Excellent!

and  I can ONly BEG and ASK you PLEASE....yep...perfect
fulFILL the HUNger ONly YOU can EASE.......you nailed it here. Very nice!

Let me redo it in perfect iambic and perhaps you will be able to see the difference...

Into your hands my soul awakes
Your touch removes my innocence.
I melt into your love so rough.

My body quivers and it shakes
Each corded muscle growing tense
Beneath your hands so gently gruff.

All reason now my mind forsakes
As I prepare for love intense
Till I can only say enough.

The will that I possess now breaks.
I beg, "Don't keep me in suspense!"
"I need your hands so gently rough".

And I can only beg and ask you please
Fulfill the hunger only you can ease.

Look or the changes I made and figure out why I made them. Many times it's simply rearranging words that makes the difference.  Best to you!!!!



rachaelfuchsberger
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30 posted 2009-07-04 07:51 PM


Thank you, dear Sir! It's making more sense to me slowly. Count syllables, count stresses and when all else fails....fudge it! LOL It's the stresses I seem to be struggling with the most. But it gives me something to work with.

Arana Darkwolf

Oklahoma Rose
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31 posted 2009-07-04 11:12 PM


Rachaelfuchsberger, looks like you are doing alot better than I am. Better, leave the class clown title for me. You did a great job. You go girl!

rachaelfuchsberger
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32 posted 2009-07-05 12:40 PM


Thanks, Rose. I still didn't get it completely on my own. I shall conquer meter yet! Muahahahahahahahaha.

Oops....my evil is showing!

Arana Darkwolf

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33 posted 2009-07-06 03:21 AM


Touch Magic


Spruce branches block intrusive light
while shadows sway in empty space
creating magic in the air.

Butterflies dance into the night
as silk worms tat their strands of lace
and sing songs of a princess fair.

Lavender kisses polished bright
gracefully land on fairy’s face
offering love - so much to share.

Such wonders aren’t that hard to find;
they grow and live within our minds.


Alison

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34 posted 2009-07-06 09:50 PM


Very nice, Alison! The meter breaks down in a couple of places but it still reads very nicely. You have a bit of a magic touch yourself!
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35 posted 2009-07-06 09:53 PM


Okay, gonna go back and try to correct it.

Thank you lots.

A

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36 posted 2009-07-06 10:24 PM


This is how I read it, Balladeer.  I did make a few changes in the text.

--

Touch Magic


Spruce branches block intrusive light
while shadows blanket empty space
creating magic in the air.

Hibiscus dance into the night
as silk worms tat long spider lace
and chant songs of a princess fair.

Lavender kisses painted bright
gracefully teasing fairy’s face
offering hope - so much to share.

Such wonders are not hard to find;
they grow to live within our minds.


Alison

Oklahoma Rose
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37 posted 2009-07-06 10:42 PM


Well, look at you Alison! You go girl!
Balladeer
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38 posted 2009-07-06 10:48 PM


good that you got rid of the butterflies
Now, convince me that these words are pronounced..

la-VEN-der
grace-FUL-ly
of-FER-ing

and I'll concede. Good luck!

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39 posted 2009-07-06 11:03 PM


It's my world?

laughs .. .okay, I am on it.

Thanks, darling Rose.

A

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40 posted 2009-07-06 11:14 PM


Touch Magic


Spruce branches block intrusive light
while shadows blanket empty space
creating magic in the air.

Hibiscus dance into the night
as silk worms tat long spider lace
and chant songs of a princess fair.

Sporadic kisses painted bright
enchanting touch on fairy’s face
delivers hope - so much to share.

These wonders are not hard to find;
they grow to live within our minds.


Alison

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41 posted 2009-07-06 11:19 PM


NOW you got your sealskin sneakers on straight!

Perfection, Alison

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42 posted 2009-07-06 11:20 PM


Thank you, dear Teacher.

xoxoxo
A

Oklahoma Rose
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43 posted 2009-07-08 06:47 PM


Hey Balladeer, don't give up on me, yet. I am still working on the Trilonnet. I know I am just too darn slow. But, I am working on it. Okay?
Oklahoma Rose
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44 posted 2009-07-08 06:51 PM


One more thing! I am so far behind, I don't know if I will ever catch up.
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45 posted 2009-07-09 12:24 PM


DOn't worry, Rose. You''l catch up...I have faith in you!
nakdthoughts
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Between the Lines
46 posted 2009-07-09 08:59 AM


The Noise of Life

Each night before the dance of moon,
she rights her thoughts to only one,
awaiting voiced what need be heard.

Though dark that blinds may come too soon,
her dreams appear before its done
till sleep arrives, again transferred

Into a stage of hold, his tune
protects her from each day's begun,
when noise of life becomes the blurred

That endless flow, each year in June
when age continues on its run,
emotions wishing, wants deterred...


To fill the heart with silence of:
Embrace the new, and feel one's love.


M

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47 posted 2009-07-09 09:12 PM


Ah, Maureen, such a special touch you put into your words. No way I can ever stump you....unless I require a happy poem!

Beautiful work, once again

nakdthoughts
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48 posted 2009-07-09 09:24 PM


hmmmm and I thought that was a happy one


M

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49 posted 2009-07-11 09:33 PM


Hello, all! I've been enjoying reading the poems that have been produced from these workshops so I thought I'd drop by and give a Trilonnet a try. I opted to do the first rhyme scheme.

As Sun Does Set

I lay me down, my head to sleep,
as sun does set when day is done.
The angels stand on guard o’er me.

I rest in peace in angel keep,
~ From set of moon to rise of sun.
And sail across a cosmic sea.

White lambs, across my bed do leap.
I want to join them in their fun.
~ But I must rest and let them be.

I lie quite still. ~ Make not a peep,
for fear the lambs, away, will run.
In dreams I’ll fly up high and free.

Bright stars do blanket ebon skies,
As Sandman sprinkles dust in eyes.


Oklahoma Rose
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50 posted 2009-07-11 10:22 PM


Well, Earthy Angel, I know Balladeer will love this one. I haven't even gotten this one, yet.
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51 posted 2009-07-12 12:49 PM


Linda and Maureen, your poems are beautiful.  And, M?  Your reply cracked me up.  

Love you both,
A

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52 posted 2009-07-12 09:02 AM



Oklahoma  Rose would be wrong on this one, I'm afraid. We are a little tougher here than in Open,  all in the name of trying to better our work. I like the theme and what you portray in the poem, EA,  but the way you do it is what I call  fudging. Poetry should be natural and flow the way our normal conversations flow. One of the no-no's in rhymed poetry is inserting unnecessary words for the sake of  maintaining meter.

as sun does set when day is done
White lambs, across my bed, do leap
Bright stars do blanket ebon skies


Too much do-do here.....fudging to maintain the syllable count.

for fear the lambs, away, will run.

Spoken like someone who has English as a second language....Fudging....rearranging words in an unnatural way to maintain the rhyme.

Don't fall in love with a line so much you are willing to butcher it to keep it. We all have lines we like that just won't make it and we have to use our noodles to find another way or discard it. Don't get lazy on me!!!!!!


brneyedgrly
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53 posted 2009-07-12 10:05 AM



~brneyedgrly scratches her head in intimidation from this challenge and the talent here~

any simple ideas for a beginner to get things started?  

pretty please?

~shellie  

  


Balladeer
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54 posted 2009-07-12 10:20 AM


Sure, SHellie...

It all depends where you feel you need work or information. Writing poetry is like anything else...you must know the basics and the tools of the trade before you can come up with a good finished product. Words are useless unless presented in a nice package. Creating a poem is like preparing a delicious meal. You need to know the ingredients first...then you need to know the cooking instructions...then you come out with a nice dish for all to enjoy.

So find out where you need work. Meter? Feet? poetry types? Alliterations? SImiles? We have lessons here on all of those. Go back through the past lessons of the workshop and find lessons pertaining to what you think you need more knowledge of. That's the best advice I can offer.

brneyedgrly
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55 posted 2009-07-12 10:56 AM



~mr balladeer...

yes, i have looked at those lessons here (more than once!) and i think i understand those pieces...however, the problem comes when i try to apply meter (the how)to what it is i'm trying to say (the what)...does that only make sense to me?

i feel kind of claustrophobic and reigned in...maybe i just need to give up my control...  : )

i was wondering if it might help to take something i've already written and try to rewrite with meter?  to start with?

i don't know if there's hope on this one...

shel  


Earth Angel
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56 posted 2009-07-12 11:01 AM


Good morning, Oklahoma's finest rose! Well, it appears that you were somewhat over-optimistic regarding Balladeer's opinion at my feeble attempt at writing a Trilonnet! But that was very sweet of you to say!
Like yourself, I find putting my thoughts into proper metre, challenging to say the very least.


Earth Angel
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57 posted 2009-07-12 11:06 AM


Maureen, your trillonet was gorgeous and very smooth and silky. Lovely! I can see what Balladeer is talking about re my attempt. It is choppy and forced and full of mud! Well, I best sharpen that pencil of mine! We have a hard task-master! lol
Earth Angel
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58 posted 2009-07-12 11:07 AM


Balladeer ~

Oooo, you're a strict teacher who wants to pull the best out of his students!!! ~ I like that! I seldom use a poetic form because I lose my natural flow of thoughts with all the do's and don'ts ~ as is apparent with this attempt at a trilonnet.

I will give it another go sometime this week. Practice make perfect! ~  Or at least makes one better! lol

I think this is fabulous what you are doing here in these workshops! Thank you for your critique.

Balladeer
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59 posted 2009-07-12 11:38 AM


Shel...you're not the only one to feel that way. Rhymed poetry IS demanding and may not allow certain people to express what they want how they want to. For those people, free verse is the answer, although there are those who claim that good free verse employs meter, also.

Think of what you want to write about. Then decide which is the best form for you. There are topics that just will not work with the right impact in structured poetry. I, along with many here, have written free verse when we knew instinctively that rhyming would not give it the impact we needed. At other times, one can sense a melody in what they want to write and structured poetry is the answer there, There should be no "I'm a rhymer" or "I'm a free-verser". Each poem should dictate how it should be written.

By all means, bring in a poem that you would like to see meter applied to, and we will work on it together!

Earth Angel, it is really a pleasure seeing you here and I know you will do just fine. You have the skills, no doubt there. We just need to kick the tires and change the oil...no problem!

Earth Angel
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60 posted 2009-07-12 11:55 AM


I'm baaack! ~ hopefully with an improved rendition. It may not be perfect but I'm determined to work on it until it meets with your approval, Dear Teach!

Here goes! Bombs away!

When Day Is Done

Each night before I fall asleep,
I thank the Mother, God, and Son.
~ As angels stand on guard o’er me.

I rest in peace in angel keep,
~ From set of moon to rise of sun.
And sail across a cosmic sea.

Across my bed white woollies leap.
I want to join them in their fun.
~ But I must rest and let them be.

I lie quite still. ~ Make not a peep.
I fear the lambs will up and run.
In dreams I’ll fly up high and free.

I’m blanketed by starry skies
As Sandman sprinkles dust in eyes

LLD




[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (07-14-2009 01:30 AM).]

Earth Angel
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61 posted 2009-07-12 11:58 AM


I just posted my new version before I read your very generous and helpful response above. Thanks Teach! Will do!
Oklahoma Rose
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62 posted 2009-07-12 02:26 PM


Well, Earthy Angel, sorry about that. I'm not beyond admitting, being wrong. Seems I am wrong, more than right. Hmmmm! That needs to be fixed. My friend, the Balladeer is the BEST. So, you must listen to him. He will never steer you wrong.

I need to get mine done. Real soon!

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63 posted 2009-07-12 07:03 PM


Approval met, EA. I knew you were a quick study! This one is awesome
Earth Angel
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64 posted 2009-07-12 09:07 PM


Oklahoma's Sweetest Rose ~

Nothing to be sorry about! You have a warm loving heart!

brneyedgrly
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65 posted 2009-07-12 09:08 PM



~here's mine...be nice    


.
today’s the day she’ll say ‘I do’,
she slips her arms into her gown,
and pats the veil upon her head,

it’s something borrowed, something blue,
a wedding rite that she was shown
to keep her luck, her sister said,

it’s something old and something new,
each beaded jewel has been sewn,
she sees her groom just up ahead,

a special day for just those two,
to have and hold, to love and own,
and all those reasons that one weds,

he slips the ring upon her finger,
and plants a kiss he knows will linger…


.
~thanks, shel  


Earth Angel
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66 posted 2009-07-12 09:08 PM


Balladeer ~

Thanks, Teach! 'Angel' curtsies!

Earth Angel
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67 posted 2009-07-12 09:11 PM


Brown-eyed Beauty ~

That was exceptionally lovely!!!!

brneyedgrly
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68 posted 2009-07-12 09:17 PM



thanks, lovely linda...

i am envious of how yours flowed so effortlessly...i worked the whole day on mine!


~~patiently waiting for grade~~



Balladeer
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69 posted 2009-07-12 11:07 PM


Your work paid off, miss. I tried to find something wrong and...no cigar! It is ideal and flows like honey....gold star in the mail!
Alison
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70 posted 2009-07-12 11:24 PM


shel,

I love your poem.  Glad you are among us.

A

brneyedgrly
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71 posted 2009-07-12 11:32 PM



balladeer...

~whew!~  i was kickin' myself all day for taking this challenge on, but there was no way i was going to quit...

i don't know how you all do it but i just made lists of rhyming words and picked a topic and tried to make it work...this was the third topic i tried.  i REALLY struggled with this!  it almost took the fun out of my writing process, only because it was foreign to me...but i am not sorry that i kept at it because i did learn about meter!  

i really liked what you said about letting the poem dictate the form...i will now listen more closely to my words     and you also made me feel better about being a free~verser     i guess we do all have different poetic sieves that let things run out in different ways...

from now on, i will probably stick to challenges that allow my free~verse participation...

thank you so much for all of your guidance and comments, mr balladeer...i'm sendin' you an apple in the mail!   and a kiss!

~shellie


don't wait for the storms to end~
learn how to dance in the rain

brneyedgrly
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72 posted 2009-07-12 11:37 PM



~alison...

   thanks so much for making me

feel welcome here     this is great!

you do so well at all this...like a mini~balladeer  lol  well...at least teacher's pet      you go girly!

~shel


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73 posted 2009-07-12 11:51 PM


it almost took the fun out of my writing process

I understand, believe me. When I was younger, I was quite a pool hustler. My little brother idolized that part of me and asked me to teach him how to gt good at it so I started with the spin, the angles, the english, and the little things necessary to be good at it. After a while, he said "I don't want to bother with all that stuff. I just want to play good!"

Thank God you're not like my little brother Write on!

brneyedgrly
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74 posted 2009-07-12 11:59 PM




~hilarious...i too tried to be schooled at pool and when faced with all that english and spin and stuff, i gave up and now i just use some sixth sense, line up the shot and bust loose...lol

kind of like my poetry  


Earth Angel
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75 posted 2009-09-22 08:04 PM


Balladeer, was I seeing things last night?!? I could have sworn that you posted a lesson for us to write a Tilonnet. So I wrote one! ~ But now I see that it is a Villannet that you were asking us to write. Oh, well, here comes another Trilonnet from yours truly ~ whether you like it or not! lol   I wrote it in the second rhyme scheme. abc cba abc cba dd

With Gratitude

As sun peeked out from edge of sky,
Gold rays of light danced on the lawn  
~ Beneath a sky of cloudless blue.  

I looked towards an ancient yew  
And there I spied a spotted fawn    
~ Upon spring grass on knoll up high.  

A meadowlark came winging by  
~ A welcomed sight with waking dawn,  
I was at peace with all in view.  

Each morn, a day begins anew.    
Upon clean slate, each choice is drawn.    
~ And dare to dream with hopes held high.  

Enjoy each day in God’s embrace
~ With gratitude and loving grace.

LLD

Balladeer
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76 posted 2009-09-22 08:48 PM


No, you weren't imagining things. It was there....andthen I discovered that we had already covered it and I changed topics.

Anywsy, if my mistake led to the creation of this, may I err more often!!!

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