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Teen Poetry #2
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In memory of B. Pasternak
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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In memory of B. Pasternak |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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As though a lover’s apparition, A tempting draft blew on the flame. And verses’ constant repetition Resounded the author’s name. The author sat in full confusion, Which came in honor of his craft. As though, aghast by an illusion, The flame was shaken by a draft. As though a prophet in a crowd, The candle flame attracted moths. The verses, that he read aloud, In molten wax froze on his clothes. He sat in silence-- eyes unfocused, They seemed to wander with no aim.. As though converging on a locus, The moths were soaring to the flame. As though a dream that would not cease, A candle burned throughout the night. He waited calmly, still not pleased With what appeared before his sight.. He grew his words with a resistance Against events that had occurred. As though eternal in existence A candle burned, a candle burned. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Oo0ostephanio0oO Member
since 2000-01-19
Posts 194Massachusetts ~USA~ |
I really like this one. I love the desriptive words. BUT one thing. MOTHS & CLOTHS rhyme, but not MOTHS & CLOTHES~just wanted you to know.  (:***Stephani***:) "A true friend will always stay a friend whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end." |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
I does rhyme, maybe you're not pronouncing it right. |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
You are a wonderful writer. I love the way you find rhymes for very difficult words that fit so beautifully in your poem. I think the words "moths" and "clothes" are appropriate, even if the rhymes aren't exact. |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
thank you Lyric Fetish! Glad you liked it! |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
Oh wow....I've been following your posts for some time now ...and come to the conclusion you're one of the best, if not the best, writers in this forum. This poem is just further proof of your seemingly inherent literary genius. Tis awesome - I love the reference to moths being attracted to the candle flame. Superb. I do believe I'll print it out and put it on my wall, if you don't mind?!!. :.) Vreni |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Not at all, thank you for your comments, you sure know how to make a poet blush. *S* |
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abra-cadabra Member
since 1999-06-21
Posts 75Florissant, Missouri, USA |
Oh wow! I think I'm in love... j/k. This has to be by far one of, if not, the best poems I've ever read. This is just completely amazing. It's MUCH better than anything I've ever written. For some reason, it reminds me of Edgar Allan Poe. Maybe that's why I like it so much. It's just beautiful and I'm at loss for anymore words. Wow! |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Thank you, it means a lot to me when people say that my poems are one of the best they've ever read. I'm glad that you liked it and I'm sure that soon you will write something far better than this. Again, Thanks! |
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Dean Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 120Canada |
I like your poem very much i like the deep desciptive words!! I will continue to read your stuff it is very rewarding!! "Live to love or why live at all" Deano :) |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Thank you Dean, glad you liked it! |
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