Teen Poetry #2 |
![]() ![]() |
I Wish You Could Be There |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
I wish you could be there to see her way through school to see her take her first steps to hear her utter her first words I wish you could be there to see that special smile to hear her baby laugh and look into her baby eyes I wish you could be there to see her go to prom to see her get married to walk her down the aisle I wish you could be there to help me with her questions to help her with her problems to give her a shoulder to cry on I wish you could be there to hear her say "I Love you, dad". to hear her say "Thanks" to hear unspoken gratitude... but you're not. It's been a year she's walking now talking baby talk you've been gone, yet I see you everyday as she gets older... i know..i know....the ending is weak..at least I think so...how anout ya'll?? |
||
© Copyright 2000 Lavada Miller - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kitty Junior Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 20Paris, Ontario, Canada |
I can relate to this poem so much. But I'm not in the mothers place but in the childs. Your poem is very moving, it touched me,and I don't think the ending is weak at all. |
||
Singer1981 Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 148Fredonia, NY USA |
I really can't relate to this in personal experience...but just reading it made me feel the emotions that you must have been feeling. It brought a tear to my eye...once again, beautifully written. ~Sarah |
||
angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
The ending is not weak, it actually sounds pretty good. It was a very heartfelt poem, and I hope to see more of your poetry soon. Angel6917 "Sometimes people care too much. I think it's called love." -Winnie the Pooh |
||
Oo0ostephanio0oO Member
since 2000-01-19
Posts 194Massachusetts ~USA~ |
The ENDING is so NOt weak at all!. I can relate to this so much. I'm not the mother, I am the child. My father died 9-27-98. I am STILL coping with it. It was SO hard becasue he was't there to see my prom, so see me graduate from high school or when I graduate from college, and he WON"T be there to walk me down the isle. I wonder about that everyday. I wonder what I am going to do, and who I am going to pick. It'll either be my mother, brother or my uncle (He's also my god-father, and was my father's brother). Here's some good advice: make sure she has a good strong male figure in her life, maybe her godfather, or if you have a brother. It will make it easier for her. OR she may even pick you to walk her down the isle, there's no law against that. Keep writing it'll help you. Advice from others has always worked for me. (:***Stephani***:) "A true friend will always stay a friend whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end." |
||
sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
Thanks to all the replies! I didn't think I'd get that many! Wow! Thanks for all the support...it means alot ![]() |
||
Dean Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 120Canada |
I love you stuff What can I say!! I always can feel it!! Thanx for your poetry!! Love Deano XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX "Live to love or why live at all" Deano :) |
||
![]() ![]() |
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
![]() ![]() ![]() |
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |