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Close your eyes (my attempt at non-rhyming poetry..scary)
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Close your eyes (my attempt at non-rhyming poetry..scary) |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697
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This is one of my first attempts at non-rhyming poetry... scary, eh? I'll probably need some suggestions on this... Close your eyes There is a magical place A paradise No, it isn’t Heaven It’s in your mind When life gets too hard There is a place Where the sky is always blue And the sun always shines It’s close, yet far away You are in control It can be just you, if you like Or you can be with someone else Someone special And no one else You are always happy here There's no trace of the harshness That we live with every day Just happiness, joy And love... your love Friends never betray And you are never lonely You are never sad There is nothing but peace It is a place of rest So many people don’t know this place This beautiful place So close, and yet so far They’ll never know that it was missing Until they find it So, when you can’t take it anymore And life is too harsh All you have to do is go here It’s not hard Just close your eyes "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world" |
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| © Copyright 2000 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Excellent poem. Even if it were not your first attempt I would still say so. This form suits you well. I look foreward to seeing more. I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion |
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Astraea Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now |
As someone who has never written a rhymed poem of her own free will and enjoys seeing others stray from it once and awhile, I love this poem! Very lovely. ~Astraea "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness." "Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things." |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Great job LoveBug.... Your talents as a writer never cease to amaze me. You are truly one gifted individual and a great friend. Thanks for being there when I needed to talk. Great job. Jer |
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angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
For your first attempt at a non-rhyming poem, I think it's really good. I'd like to see more sometime. |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
cool poem...i'm sure it would've sounded just as wonderful as a rhyming poem, but this one shows that you can write anyway you want!  [This message has been edited by sweetcollege_girl (edited 01-18-2000).] |
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