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Teen Poetry #2
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Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

0 posted 2000-01-17 11:44 PM

This is one of my first attempts at non-rhyming poetry... scary, eh? I'll probably need some suggestions on this...

Close your eyes
There is a magical place
A paradise
No, it isn’t Heaven
It’s in your mind

When life gets too hard
There is a place
Where the sky is always blue
And the sun always shines
It’s close, yet far away

You are in control
It can be just you, if you like
Or you can be with someone else
Someone special
And no one else

You are always happy here
There's no trace of the harshness
That we live with every day
Just happiness, joy
And love... your love

Friends never betray
And you are never lonely
You are never sad
There is nothing but peace
It is a place of rest

So many people don’t know this place
This beautiful place
So close, and yet so far
They’ll never know that it was missing
Until they find it

So, when you can’t take it anymore
And life is too harsh
All you have to do is go here
It’s not hard
Just close your eyes

 "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world"

© Copyright 2000 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
1 posted 2000-01-18 12:03 PM

Excellent poem. Even if it were not your first attempt I would still say so. This form suits you well. I look foreward to seeing more.

 I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion

since 1999-11-09
Posts 378
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now
2 posted 2000-01-18 12:39 PM

As someone who has never written a rhymed poem of her own free will and enjoys seeing others stray from it once and awhile, I love this poem!  Very lovely.


 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."

since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
3 posted 2000-01-18 01:02 AM

Great job LoveBug....  Your talents as a writer never cease to amaze me.  You are truly one gifted individual and a great friend. Thanks for being there when I needed to talk.  Great job.


since 2000-01-14
Posts 478
4 posted 2000-01-18 10:42 AM

For your first attempt at a non-rhyming poem, I think it's really good.  I'd like to see more sometime.
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
5 posted 2000-01-18 01:13 PM

cool poem...i'm sure it would've sounded just as wonderful as a rhyming poem, but this one shows that you can write anyway you want!  

[This message has been edited by sweetcollege_girl (edited 01-18-2000).]

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