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Lynn
Member

since 1999-09-20

Posts 316
Jasper, Alabama U.S.A.

0 posted 1999-10-13 06:05 PM

CRAVING A KISS

The moon shines above us
and not a word is spoken.
The silence is broken by a
cough coming from you.

I can't help but to think about
how great your kiss would be.
I've been waiting for this moment
since the first time I met you.
I'm now here. We are here, and
I wounder if it will happen.

Will our lips embrace
in a romantic kiss?
Or will we both pass
up this opportunity we have?

I lean forward, close to your face.
You know what I want.

We are both here
alone in the darkness.
No one would ever know.
I wouldn't ever tell.

Secrets we will make
and secrets we will keep.
Only the moon and stars
would know of our actions.
I want you, more than ever.
I want to hold you so long.
I never want to let you go.

You know I would not be
satisfied with just one kiss.
You know I would want
more than a simple kiss.

Well, we are here,
and we are together.
This alone is good
enough for me.
Better than nothing,
or so I believe.

But when I started to speak,
you put your hand on my face
and gently kissed my lips.

I was speechless!

------------------

"I Believe we are divine by nature." -Jewel

Grace is the refinement of a soul over time. -Jewel

StratMatt
Member

since 1999-09-19

Posts 87
Macomb, IL, U.S.A.

1 posted 1999-10-13 11:58 PM

I enjoyed this poem a lot.
It's a very romantic type poem, especially with the naturistic aspects of it.
The structure of the stanzas is kinda of odd, and had I been the author, I would probably structure them in more standard stanzas, but that's just comments from me. the Structure doesn't lessen the poem, just makes it different.
Nice work.
-Matt

------------------
"Lost time is never found again." -Ben Franklin.

Lynn
Member

since 1999-09-20

Posts 316
Jasper, Alabama U.S.A.

2 posted 1999-10-14 12:11 PM

Matt.....Thanx for the comments. I realize the structure is quite "odd", but if you notice, I seperated them as thoughts. Each seperations begins a new thought, and I thought it would be "different" to do it this way...Besides, different can be "good".

------------------

"I Believe we are divine by nature." -Jewel

Grace is the refinement of a soul over time. -Jewel

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

3 posted 1999-10-16 08:58 PM

I really enjoyed this poem. I only like romantic and love poems if they strike me right, and this one did.

Good work!

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

StratMatt
Member

since 1999-09-19

Posts 87
Macomb, IL, U.S.A.

4 posted 1999-10-18 12:48 PM

I see what you mean about them being separate thoughts now. But also, like I said before, it was just different, not bad different, just different. Again, good work

Silent Silver
Junior Member

since 1999-09-26

Posts 12
AZ, USA

5 posted 1999-10-19 08:06 PM

What an excellent poem! Being with someone you love and wanting a kiss from them is such a great feeling. And then once you do, well, you know that feeling! Beautiful expression of that first time!

-SS

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