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Teen Poetry #2
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Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans

0 posted 2000-01-14 03:19 AM


Kneeling silently with bowed head
Hands clasped and eyes shut tight

My mind returns to all my crimes
I pray for God to hear my plight

With loud and trembling voice I cry
"Set me free, oh gracious Lord!"

But the axe falls -- my head rolls --
The penance I must pay for sin --

"God is more merciful than men"
The executioner replies and grins.

 "He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth/ People should get beat up for stating their beliefs/ Tour the world with a Heavy Metal Band/ But they run out of gas/ The plane can never land"
**They Might Be Giants

© Copyright 2000 Jerome Solomon - All Rights Reserved
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

1 posted 2000-01-14 11:50 AM

Hey, I really like this poem. Spooky. Not usually what I'm into, but it's really good!

 "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world"

since 2000-01-14
Posts 67
Arkansas... that's all you get
2 posted 2000-01-14 11:57 AM

leaves me with that new car smell feeling; fuzzy almost
keep up the good work

merely a jester

New Member
since 1999-12-12
Posts 3
Washington, DC
3 posted 2000-01-14 08:00 PM

The last two lines of this poem are great!!  Very visual...  I *really* like this piece.     ~Nimue

 "Touch passion when it comes to you. As rare enough as it is, don't walk away when it calls you by name." ~Marcus Cole, Babylon 5

since 1999-11-23
Posts 120
4 posted 2000-01-14 08:53 PM

This is ****ing sweet ass **** man keep up the **** awesome work!!

 "Live to love or why live at all"
Deano :)

Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
5 posted 2000-01-14 11:54 PM

thank you all very much, i'm always pleased when one of my works gets good reviews *wipes the nervous sweat off his brow*... this was an experiemental piece in this style for me, mabye i'll write more when i get the inspiration    again, thank you  


 **jerome the boy whose brain got left out in the rain and nobody bothered to dry it off when they put it back in

Junior Member
since 1999-07-28
Posts 46
New York, N.Y. USA
6 posted 2000-01-15 01:13 AM

cool poem - it was a little scary, but i liked it.

"i'd rather die on my feet, than to live on my knees."


Kenneth Ray Taylor
since 1999-11-11
Posts 139
Duluth, Minnesota, USA
7 posted 2000-01-15 10:47 AM

A bit of a surprise ending.  I liked it.  It reminds me of the verse in 1 John 3:20:

"For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things."

Some people interpret this verse to mean that God is greater than our heart and thus condemns us all the more.  Others interpret it that God is greater than our heart and extends to us mercy.

Junior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 25

8 posted 2000-01-15 12:33 PM

Woh that was suprising, I was reading it and I was well this is an ok religious poem I like that and then BANG I find out its not what it seems keep it up.
Lil OnE
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234
Pasco County. Fl.
9 posted 2000-01-15 05:41 PM

poetry_kills... Hey... what's this doing here? Post it in Dark Passions, which is where I usually post. This was a great poem, I really enjoyed it, as would others in dark passions. In any case, great work, keep it up?

 You don't know me, but you don't like me.
You say you could care less how I feel.
But how many of you who sit and judge me
have ever walked the streets in my shoes?-Korn
~Lil OnE~

Star Fairy 2
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260
cerritos, california, usa
10 posted 2000-01-16 06:21 PM

this one has left me a bit confused.....

 Don't Fall.. Rise in Love

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