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Teen Poetry #2
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since 2000-01-03
Posts 56

0 posted 2000-01-13 05:51 PM

I saw her from afar
And left her there
The sight was so faded
With suffering glimpses
The distance grew smaller
I saw her for who she was
Knew her for who she wanted to be

A common dream desired
Am emotion was derived
One of heartache and deception
One that lingers in the days

We've found solid ground
On which we plant our dreams
But on days of loneliness
They are trampeled upon by grief

 "It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath..."-FTE

© Copyright 2000 Nights - All Rights Reserved
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
1 posted 2000-01-18 11:38 PM

Nice poem, it has a nice dark quality to it that I can relate to. Its sad when good poems like this are lost in obscurity while all the veteran posters get all the replies, so I decided to grant this poem a stay of execution  

Now if only people would read and reply to my stuff more... <hint> <hint>  

 I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion

since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
2 posted 2000-01-18 11:55 PM

Good job Nights.  Sorry....   your poem must have sliped by.......  I read all the posts on here and I try to comment on them all.  Good or bad.  Of corse if there bad I'll tell ya... LOL.  Anyway great job! I really like the second stanza.  It's speaks a lot of emotion for so little words.

Ohh.....  I get your hint Mistikman... but dose anyone else?

since 1999-11-23
Posts 120
3 posted 2000-01-19 12:14 PM

very good poem!! I like your style. keep up the good work!!

 "Live to love or why live at all"
Deano :)

Junior Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 20
Paris, Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2000-01-19 05:26 PM

Great poem I love it. Not too many words but so much expression. Good job.

 He has made everything beautiful in its time
Ecclesiastes 3:11


since 2000-01-19
Posts 194
Massachusetts ~USA~
5 posted 2000-01-20 11:35 PM

I like this ALOT. It does have dark qualities which is what I liked about it too. Stuff like this can really touch someone when looked at in a good way.

"A true friend will always stay a friend
whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end."

Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
6 posted 2000-01-21 09:05 PM

Wonderful work! Your words are very true and I can relate to your sentiments.  Do keep it up!  

 *Krista Knutson*

~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack,
Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare,
Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water,
Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha

since 2000-01-03
Posts 56

7 posted 2000-01-22 02:02 PM

I'm really glad you like the poem.  I wasn't sure if i should give it to my friend, because i didn't know how she would react to it.  But after reading your comments i sent it out to her.  Thank you.

 "It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath..."-FTE

Star Fairy 2
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260
cerritos, california, usa
8 posted 2000-01-22 05:06 PM

verrrryyy mysterious

mind workin on overtime tryin to catch the little hidden meanings...

great job

 Regret for things you did maybe tempered by time, regret for things you Didn't do, however, is inconsolable...

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