Teen Poetry #2 |
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To a Friend |
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Nights Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 56 |
I saw her from afar And left her there The sight was so faded With suffering glimpses The distance grew smaller I saw her for who she was Knew her for who she wanted to be A common dream desired Am emotion was derived One of heartache and deception One that lingers in the days We've found solid ground On which we plant our dreams But on days of loneliness They are trampeled upon by grief "It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh it's my mouth that pushes out this breath..."-FTE |
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© Copyright 2000 Nights - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Nice poem, it has a nice dark quality to it that I can relate to. Its sad when good poems like this are lost in obscurity while all the veteran posters get all the replies, so I decided to grant this poem a stay of execution ![]() Now if only people would read and reply to my stuff more... <hint> <hint> ![]() I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Good job Nights. Sorry.... your poem must have sliped by....... I read all the posts on here and I try to comment on them all. Good or bad. Of corse if there bad I'll tell ya... LOL. Anyway great job! I really like the second stanza. It's speaks a lot of emotion for so little words. Ohh..... I get your hint Mistikman... but dose anyone else? |
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Dean Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 120Canada |
very good poem!! I like your style. keep up the good work!! "Live to love or why live at all" Deano :) |
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Kitty Junior Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 20Paris, Ontario, Canada |
Great poem I love it. Not too many words but so much expression. Good job. He has made everything beautiful in its time Ecclesiastes 3:11 Kitty |
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Oo0ostephanio0oO Member
since 2000-01-19
Posts 194Massachusetts ~USA~ |
I like this ALOT. It does have dark qualities which is what I liked about it too. Stuff like this can really touch someone when looked at in a good way. (:***Stephani***:) "A true friend will always stay a friend whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end." |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Wonderful work! Your words are very true and I can relate to your sentiments. Do keep it up! ![]() *Krista Knutson* ~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack, Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare, Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water, Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha |
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Nights Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 56 |
I'm really glad you like the poem. I wasn't sure if i should give it to my friend, because i didn't know how she would react to it. But after reading your comments i sent it out to her. Thank you. "It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh it's my mouth that pushes out this breath..."-FTE |
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Star Fairy 2 Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260cerritos, california, usa |
verrrryyy mysterious mind workin on overtime tryin to catch the little hidden meanings... great job Regret for things you did maybe tempered by time, regret for things you Didn't do, however, is inconsolable... -------823------- |
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