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Teen Poetry #2
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anorexia
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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anorexia |
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shell-grunge Junior Member
since 1999-12-23
Posts 17 |
hi. i'd just like to open this with YOUR ALL VERY TALENTED. TO THE EXTREEM. i'm fifteen yo from australia. the topics pretty personal. heres a few lame attemps, pleases reply: 1.The beast is back living internal Its feet pushing, are the knots of bone protruding in my lower back knots point down Its smile is the cave in the hips its thirst quenched in my tears and its heart is in the shriveled stomach the beat fortifys with every replayed sit-up Its amusment is my axiety of rest and slaving famished to it is the pleasure the ejecting rib, those are the fingers clasping the clenched soul It breeths through my chilled skin its eye is my brain magnifying, till imperfections created can be amplified in my dreams and wails for its own voice The blotchy bruises are its arteries it kicks and screams and thrives with every attack of insanity and the dark sunken eyes are its wicked gapping mouth the devils horns forcing cheekbones to protrude this is the beast its growling and growing look and see it the beast is back and its swallowing me whole ================ 2.Bullets are bitten and spew forth the syrip a cackle is borrowed to skew the coughs a bass in a ribbed cage cnverges daft and even mammed in space it's extorted t hell a cliff in the hanger spins above the flanks and fibs for an escort to cease ====================== 3.Hollow aches of a concave of hips the paper skin is peeling from a life that seemed so vast Now pegged upon her crusafix, by the demon of mind eyes its pangs with volume deap into the lowly black The sickly spines of loathing continues longly down a back of a void and possessed creature that i must call myself |
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| © Copyright 1999 shell-grunge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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DarkMoon New Member
since 1999-12-25
Posts 9 |
To say that you're poem was lame is a travesty in the face of fine writing. I have just joined here and yours is the first poem I have read. I find the depth of quality quite daunting especially from someone who believes their poetry is bad. I hope that you will keep it up. |
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shell-grunge Junior Member
since 1999-12-23
Posts 17 |
thanx darkmoon. gees, you have eased my mind heaps with your words of encouragment. thank-you. i'll be on the look out for some of your poetry on the board in the future. you speak with great wisdom. ta shell |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
It indeed is a travesty too say your poem is lame, shell-grunge. This was painfully vivid and made me cringe at the horror of the disease. Do keep up your writing, you have phenomenal talent. *Krista Knutson* ~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack, Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare, Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water, Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha |
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shell-grunge Junior Member
since 1999-12-23
Posts 17 |
alwye. an almighty thanx for your reply. i'm nearly in tears. shells |
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Marissa Junior Member
since 1999-12-25
Posts 20 |
That was far from bad writing. This poem is truly something you should be proud of. You really gave me an idea of what anorexia would be like for someone. Good luck and keep up the good work! |
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starboards Member
since 1999-10-14
Posts 467longwood, florida |
how sad shell, i only hope that you can beat this beast...know that we will be here for you, and i have to agree w/everyone when they say that YOUR A REALLY GOOD POET, and that your writings are not "pretty lame attempts" but feelings showing through...i liked them, please dont stop... Ashley |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Welocme to Passions and you are a fine addition. There is nothing lame about your writing. I will be looking forward to reading more from you.  |
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shell-grunge Junior Member
since 1999-12-23
Posts 17 |
marissa, ashley and marilyn. thank you so much. god i had great axiety in posting these poems, they where so personal i was petrified of what others would perseve me as. thank you for your kind words and support. i will get better, its just taking sooooo long, to revive my mind and body, to learn to live. thanx shells |
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Tina TT Junior Member
since 1999-11-01
Posts 45Victoria, Australia |
Wow....you portrayed it so well, the images were terrific, and very accurate I'm sure. And welcome ~What if you slept? What if, in your sleep, you dreamed? And in your dream, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if, when you awoke, you had that flower in your hand? Aye, what then?~ |
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Leigh Junior Member
since 1999-12-29
Posts 20 |
Your poem is excellent! For anyone who has had this disease that is a wonderful portrayal of how you feel. You did splendidly! Keep up the good work!! |
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