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Sparrow in the wind
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Sparrow in the wind |
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eagle Junior Member
since 1999-10-20
Posts 39singapore |
when u turned away the heavens cried tears of laughter tears of pride u let your hair down the wind grew fierce my bleeding heart it was pierced the clouds grew thicker when you left me through my tears, i couldn't see have you ever seen a sparrow fly against the wind or watch a salmon swim upstream? have u never seen a turtle struggle to the sea do you not know how u hurt me? then the heavens dried and the clouds cleared and i realised what i feared the rainbow brought not joy that could be but just a sad memory have u ever seen a sparrow fly against the wind or watched a salmon swim upstream? do you not know the pain that u cause me by denying the love i give u so free? i am a sparrow in the wind flying though i cannot win i am a salmon in the stream swimming in my own dream i am a turtle on the beach struggling to the water i cannot reach i am but a dying heart trying to touch your hardened heart the sparrow drenched, flies no more the salmon wasted, dies on shore the turtle sought out, in two tore my heart bleeding, loved before |
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| © Copyright 1999 eagle - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Class Member
since 1999-12-21
Posts 93In Poetry Class |
It is very heavy.It shows the pain that certain some one gave to you.I love it and think it should be published.The metaphors arer generous and in a way sad in the fact of heart ace.Keep writing. |
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Star Fairy 2 Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260cerritos, california, usa |
this was quite good.. expressive great job *keep your head up* Don't Fall.. Rise in Love -------823------- |
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starboards Member
since 1999-10-14
Posts 467longwood, florida |
Very impressive indeed eagle, your soul shown through this one! great job  "I wont look back, I wont regret, though it hurts like hell someday I will forget" |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
I LOVE the imagery you use in your poem. The metaphors are wonderful - broad enough for everyone to understand, yet specific and complex enough to convey your individual emotion. Great job! |
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eagle Junior Member
since 1999-10-20
Posts 39singapore |
Thanks guys  Means alot |
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*~*butterfly*~* Junior Member
since 1999-07-26
Posts 28minnesota |
that was GREAT!!! you are very talented!! it was so easily understood, the words went together, beautiful!! i really love this poem, i cant wait to read more from you! "Rely on your instincts and trust your heart." --unknown ~*~*~butterfly~*~*~ |
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Jinx New Member
since 1999-12-22
Posts 7Wilkes-Barre PA |
i must agree with all of the replys the imagery, metaphors, and method in which you put your thoughts to words are just astonishing |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Exellent work! This seems almost like a song to me. I love it, continue your poetry!  *Krista Knutson* ~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack, Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare, Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water, Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha |
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