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Teen Poetry #2
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Ways of a mind
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Ways of a mind |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Time leaves a hole, For fading memories to elapse. For stinging tears which stained the fears, Fall deeper in the past. Expectations of a mind, Far smaller than one thinks. Not wanting to fall but can't comprehend at all, The way the cards will soon lay. Outragous demands, Are the demons of a lonely man. In the blackness is his darkness, A shattered view of life. Superficiality, A world were she is queen. Her simple needs are her worst deeds, Feelings are those for the weak. Abnormal circumstances, Shelter logic from prying eyes. Those with a simple view know just what to do, But can't get around the ideas. Realistion of a reality, Greater than the one at hand. Whispered thoughts from different sorts, Hold a undamaged frame of life. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Johnson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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amazon_lover Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491Dublin,Ireland |
Life is simpler if the needs are simpler,deeds are true,no superficail existence..slow decay of life..damn it Sincerely A_L |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Thanks A_L for your response. At least you had the courtesy of replying to my work. I must say, this forum has turned into a dark place. I remember not too long ago we had work with 4+ replies on each poem. Now look at it....So many poets have stopped posting in here because of it. It is pathetic.I went away for a while to come back to this. That has got to say something.... ~AF~ "Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement." Christopher Fry |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I read this and your statement of farewell. It seems a lot of teens do migrate to the Open Forum because they get a better response there. That's sad. This forum was designed specifically for some of the teen members who were with Passions in the beginning. They wanted a place to call home. A place to post poetry that would mean something just to them. So what do you think happened here? Why do you think there is a lack of responses to the poetry? What can be done to make it better? It's easy to cut and run when things don't go right, it's much harder to stand up and try to make things better! The Mentor program should start up again in the next few weeks. I have a feeling we won't have too many teens that want to sign up for it. But I won't give up. The few that do want it will learn and grow as writers. So let's hear some solutions!! If you feel you'd like to rant in private, please email me! I'm always willing to listen. And be honest! If Passions can do something or if you think we need to do something differently, please let me know!! Thanks for your time. |
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Novacaine For The Soul Member
since 2000-05-26
Posts 122New Orleans |
dear anonymousfemale: i'm sorry for your frustration, but i wont get into that, simply refer you to my reply on your other topic concerning that subject... i am seriously amazed and awed at your poetic ability... i recall when i was here last (months ago) that you impressed me, but to be completely honest, you NEVER wrote anything this fantastic... in fact, the only think i even saw that threw me off in the least was the "a" in the last line should be an "an"... also, i might add that the use of "superficiality" as an entire line makes for awkward reading... i suggest you break it up with dashes to force the reader to accentuate the different syllables... ex. super-fish-ee-al-ity... even misspelling it deliberatly to make sure it's read right, though i think the regular spelling with dashes would still be registered as the correct word by a normal human mind... *heh*... anyway... keep writing and i hope this wont be the last i see of you... sincerely, a sad tomato you're such a beautiful freak... i wish there were more just like you... |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Poet deVine:To be honest, I have absolutely no idea what happened in here. I don't know why people stopped replying. They might have done what I almost did and took off because it got hard. I dont know...but I do know that I wont be leaving. Like you said, it's easier to cut and run but I don't want to do that. So therefore, I will be in here for quite a long time.  Give me a little while and I'll see what I can think of. I think I have done enough ranting for one day. Novacaine:Thanks for your reply and thank you for such a compliment. I liked the idea with superficiality. It will give it a better sound and a better look. ~AF~ "Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement." Christopher Fry |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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