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Teen Poetry #2

Our Everything..

The Jackal
Member

since 1999-08-13

Posts 426
Springfield, Massachusetts U.S.A

0 posted 2000-05-20 01:16 PM

if you could be one regret
which one would you be...
the one keeping you awake
throughout your life
or the one which drops you
to your knees
as they say we tremble...
as we stare upon the light
look upon the others...
slowly giving up the fight
desperation feeds our everything
..and that makes anything.. alright

"you can have my isolation..you can have the hate that it brings
you can have my absence of faith..you can have my everything"

"so impressed with all you do..tried so hard to be like you..flew too high and burnt the wing..lost my faith in everything"

The Jackal

Comfrey83
Junior Member

since 2000-04-02

Posts 36
Winchester, Mass USA

1 posted 2000-05-20 06:01 PM

no replies hurt eh? i know i hate em!
also dont like the meaningless jibber aobut "good poem" right on?
il tell you what I liked arright?
the ending,
desperation feeds many things, overlooked too much today!
-AndOSity

Midnight
Junior Member

since 1999-11-25

Posts 28

2 posted 2000-05-21 06:10 PM

I see the Reznor influence in your work. Well written.

LyricFetish
Senior Member

since 2000-01-13

Posts 528
North Carolina

3 posted 2000-05-21 07:44 PM

Hey, I'm diggin' this! It's really cool, kind of like modern or contemporary style. Good job!

*~Meredith~*

It's another world
But it's something more than ordinary
Such a lovely day
And it's nothing more than ordinary living
That you're living
- Lit

Yu Lan
Senior Member

since 2000-04-13

Posts 1462
New Zealand

4 posted 2000-05-22 12:41 PM

not bad! Not bad at all.. ^_^

Good writing.. ^_^
Lynne

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