Untitled(need some suggestions on what to call it)

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Teen Poetry #2

Untitled(need some suggestions on what to call it)

hopeful
Junior Member

since 2000-04-19

Posts 27

0 posted 2000-05-05 08:04 PM

You started out as a crush.
Then you become more.

You became a friend of mine.
And then you became my first love.

I keep my feelings from you to myself.
Until one day I told a friend.

Things were going great between me and you.
I didn’t think there was any possible way to get better.

Unless you became mine.
Though I knew that was out of the question.

Then I told you how I felt about you.
I didn’t think you would mind.

Then you changed on me.
You seemed so distant from me.

I don’t know what I did wrong.
I would do anything to make it right.

You are pushing me away from you.
And I don’t understand why.

It is tearing me apart.
As i set here thinking of the good times we have had.

I feel as though my life is over.
Nothing is left of me.

I don’t know where to go or what to do.
Please don’t push me away from you.

I can’t take it.
I don’t know what to do when you are mad at me.

Frosty
Junior Member

since 2000-05-06

Posts 17

1 posted 2000-05-12 09:12 PM

Oh on the levels I can relate, I liked this one because in some way, it has to be true in everyone's life. It's really good.

Lucius Cade
Member

since 2000-03-23

Posts 235
Saskatchewan

2 posted 2000-05-13 03:03 AM

"Painful distance" I think that would be a good title for this wonderful poem.

Lucidity is the answer to all problems

Daysleeper
Member

since 2000-04-23

Posts 119

3 posted 2000-05-14 12:20 PM

Yeah, I like "Painful Distance." Excellent poem.

...Daysleeper...

"We prefer to do things comfortably" said the Controller.
"But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin."
"In fact," said Mustapha Mond, "you're claiming the right to be unhappy."
"Alright then," said the Savage defiantly, "I'm claiming the right to be unhappy." -Aldous Huxley "Brave New World"

*~Juliet~*
Junior Member

since 2000-05-02

Posts 19
Key West

4 posted 2000-05-14 01:23 PM

Yeah..."Painful Distance" is definatly a good title for your poem.

I know exactly how that feels, and I hope everything turns out for the better.

Wonderful, wonderful poem.

Vball Chickie1624
Member

since 2000-05-14

Posts 116
New York

5 posted 2000-05-14 05:19 PM

I like the title "Painful Distance" too. It fits well. The poem is very good and I understand where you're coming from! I like it, good job

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