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The Storm (It even confused me)
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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The Storm (It even confused me) |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
Silent night blew through i seen the clouds coming I thought you knew The storm was coming Haste was made out the door I felt the rain coming You laid on the floor watching the rain coming The lightening flashed I heard thunder roll For the door you rushed You heard the thunder roll The house went in blaze You tasted your last breath You missed the stormy haze Now you smell as death --Hoppy 4-19-00 "Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it." Henry David Thoreau Don't look... you might see. Don't listen... you might hear. Don't think... you might learn. Don't walk... you might stumble. Don't run... you might fall. Don't make a decision... you might be wrong. Don't live...you might die. |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Have to say, it confused me too! What was the inspiration? Very interesting and well written. What I understood and interpreted clearly I liked. Love and hugs, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
as for 99% of the things i write, i had no inspiration at all. i just sat down and wrote words and this is what i came up with. Sorta weird how you come up with stuff just by making words fit into a certain pattern. Though one thing i did purposly do is put in all 5 senses throughout the poem, i thought that was cute "Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it." Henry David Thoreau Don't look... you might see. Don't listen... you might hear. Don't think... you might learn. Don't walk... you might stumble. Don't run... you might fall. Don't make a decision... you might be wrong. Don't live...you might die. |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Okay!! I didn't notice that whole senses thing before(  ). What kind of patterns do you try and make the words fit into? Sorry for being so darn inquisitive but your style interests me and I'm dying to know more about it!!  Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
well, most of the time a couplet pops into my head, which is usually the last 2 lines of the poem. Then i just start constructing the Intro and body of the poem to lead up to the ending. I just try to make some kind of a rhyme scheme that sounds halfway like someone talking in a normal tone, usually that of a confused person. usually all i have in the poems are the actions and quick thoughts and leave out the great rambling words that just fluff the poem up to make it longer. I don't read that much poetry, cause most of it bores me so i just create my own way of writing it. But most of the time i try for a cross between Frost, Poe, and Creed (yea i know it's a band but their songs are just poetry with music) and it's creative showing interpersonal thought in an outward non-personal way. Creed's just awsome, but anyone, i think i've rambled enough, one last thing, the most fun thing to do when writing is to write as if you were someone else and thinking like them, like an Omnipitant First Person of someone else. but then people think your writting about yourself so....but anyway, "Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it." Henry David Thoreau Don't look... you might see. Don't listen... you might hear. Don't think... you might learn. Don't walk... you might stumble. Don't run... you might fall. Don't make a decision... you might be wrong. Don't live...you might die. |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Okay!! Maybe I'll try that couplet thing some time. I have tried writing from another persons view before..I wrote from the perspective of a child being abused. Yep, most thought it was from personal experience which I rectified with a little explanation reply. Next time I do a poem from another's perspective I will put a little explanation at the beginning. Ever tried writing first person for someone else in prose? I have tried twice just see how it is. Like the poetry, people naturally assume it is personal to me...must remember the lil NB at the beginning! Well anyway, thanks for the insight on your style! Who is Creed? Oh boy, that must sound ignorant! I must try and get a hold of some of their music some time and see what you mean. Ok, I have rambled on long enough! Thanks again! I eagerly await your next poem post! Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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MerritW Junior Member
since 2000-04-18
Posts 33Texas |
Very cool poem. I liked it a lot!!! It is quite confusing though. *Love is the only thing that keeps me sane* (Sue Townsend) |
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
In reality, what isn't confusing? Everything that we do that brings us close to tears, close to laughter, close to any heart stopping emotion is confusing. Poetry should be our window of life, it should convey to the world how we feel about experiences, it's allowed to be confusing. I also thought (and don't get me wrong...I'm no poetry expert) that there was something underneath the storm. A metophor maybe, the storm might be the relationship, this person might have been suffocated by the relationship and she/he couldn't handle it thus explaining the 'For the door you rushed'. In the beginning they thought they couldn handle it 'You laid on the floor and watched the rain coming', but they soon realized that it was too much to take. the 'death' at the end of the poem, might be the end of the relationship. However that is just my interpretation of the poem. Keep up the wonderful writing, I will look forward to hearing more from you. Love Always, Shell. |
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