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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Teen Poetry #2 |
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(Untiltled) |
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Isabelle Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 176Indiana |
Moonlight shining brightly Overlooking the water Highlighting a figure Just beyond the deck Crouched down and crying Thinking how do I deserve this What did I do to receive this The goodness, the truth You can't love me I've done too many things How did I manange this? I've hurt too many people. Or is this just a joke But it can't be I've been so happy I pray this is real I don't believe it How could someone A person of your stature Love me for eternity How do I deserve this How did I receive this The goodness, the truth Someone to love me so ------------------------------ If you have suggestions on a title or anything else about the poem please let me know. I am always wanting feedback. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeanna - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Maybe "What have I done?"...it's like a deceptive title cos it makes the reader think it will be sad when it is lovely! I love your poetry. Can I suggest, however, that you not post so many at one time...I think if you don't, more people will reply to the one you post. Just ease off, reply to many of the others' poems and then post one of yours and you will find people will want to reply! I love your poetry and will try to reply to anything you post! Love and hugs, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Isabelle Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 176Indiana |
Thanks liz i like the title suggestion. i also agree i shouldn't of posted so many at one time i didn't think about it until afterwards..but i like your response anyways. Isa |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Well done.. I like this poem.. yes.. deceptive indeed.. ^_^ well, I am not great with titles.. so, probably I would not be much good suggesting an alternative one ^_^ Nice.. Lynne |
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Jimmy Junior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 42Oak Grove |
that was a nice poem, when i first read it i thought that it was going to be sad, but it was beautiful. Keep It Up |
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**Angel** Member
since 2000-03-31
Posts 162 |
I am not too good with titles but I do like the one that Lizzie suggested. I love your poem. It is great. Lindsay |
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Rachel8383 Junior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 44 |
I really liked the fact that this poem was not sad. I think you should stick with Lizzie's title, it suits it well. Good luck! |
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