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Teen Poetry #2
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NaTaLy
Junior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 43
brooklyn,ny,usa

0 posted 2000-04-05 11:07 PM


looking around me i cant see a light
its dark and im so cold
im afraid
i cant endure anymore pain
to all the people in my life im a mistake
just an expensive joke
to be toyed with and hit around
im here so you can relieve your anger.
oh no,
the door opens to my shadowy world
and a man comes in'
drunk and
on coke and speed
i was only a kid
not old enough to understand
but now i do
i was only 14 years old when i met the man of my dreams,
last night he murdered me.


 nat<~~~~funny girl



© Copyright 2000 nataly mor - All Rights Reserved
dazed
Member
since 2000-03-13
Posts 119
USA
1 posted 2000-04-06 03:21 AM


This poem is some heavy ****!!
Good work but a bit confusing at the end!!!
Dana

Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
2 posted 2000-04-06 06:00 PM


I went to #2 hoping for clarificatin to last line of this piece.  Glad you added the additional information.
this is strong and sad, full of emotion and unfortunately, the reality of life sometimes. Maybe theres lessons to be learned and your stronger.
Glad you writing.

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