Teen Poetry #2 |
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thoughts |
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emptyness Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 95mobile,Ala,USA |
these are a group of words that describe a very important part of my life see if you can feel the emotions i felt seeing...talking...considering...detained... secretive...planning...asking...rejoicing...holding ...kissing...looseing...crying...decomposing... begging...loosing...fighting...crying...crying... crying...running...hiding...found...befriending. and now i am happy "scribere iussit amor" love commanded me to write |
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© Copyright 2000 emptyness - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
yes I can feel what you were going through here. Good work. ~AF~ |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
I can feel it alright! There are plenty of feelings there, I can imagine the scenario. |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
This read seemed like an emotional roller coaster ride. Three words lacked -ing. The write might have been interesting if each emotion was followed by its opposite as you experienced it. Anyway, a little refinement may make it more poetic if thats your intention. Regardless, to be happy in the end is what counts. DH |
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angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
I liked this- I understood completely what the scenario could've been. I think that's the scenario I'm in the middle of right now. ~Kristi Lynn |
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April Resi Member
since 1999-10-18
Posts 119Alabama |
Nice work! It's always nice to see something a little different in here. I'm glad you are happy now! April |
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pharon Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251alabama |
good job!! the vivid words help express emotion. i'm really glad you are happy now ![]() |
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UnPumpkin Junior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 18 |
You have captured perfectly how i feel about you. And also made me insanely jealous. |
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emptyness Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 95mobile,Ala,USA |
blah |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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