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LyricFetish
Senior Member

since 2000-01-13

Posts 528
North Carolina

0 posted 2000-03-14 05:53 PM

Ever do the one thing
To make them look away
Hide in your sorrow
Be at peace in a dream
That is wrong, all wrong
But still tastes sweet to you
And ignore their remarks
Of life and of fate
For they've never died
And been scorched
Into nothing
Only you have fallen
Blindly into an abyss
That reaches out bony fingers
To drag you down
While they dance
And drink tea from china cups
With the acid death of it
Rolling down their chins
They won't look up
When you cry out for relief
They will arch their brows
And smile to eachother
Of nothing that matters
Fail to see the truth
Your truth that becomes them
As you turn your back
Descend the spiraling staircase
And crawl into your grave
It smells of lavender
Only in your head
You will close your eyes
And drift into your silent mist
To await their arrival
Into this world
This gruesome reality
Here to your private hell

DO NOT BE DECIEVED

*There is no destination where we are
Please take me somewhere far
Far away from this world of mine*
(by me)

DragonFang
Senior Member

since 2000-03-09

Posts 522
Missouri, USA

1 posted 2000-03-14 05:59 PM

*blink blink* let me read that again really fast . . . *blink blink* it is a very nice poem, kinda sad and creepy, but, what is it about??? Don't get me wrong, I like it, I just don't understand it very well.

"Sa souvraya niende missian ye." I am lost in my own mind.

Oo0ostephanio0oO
Member

since 2000-01-19

Posts 194
Massachusetts ~USA~

2 posted 2000-03-14 06:36 PM

This was very dark, but very good. I liked the "mysteriousness" about it. Keep up the good work!

(:***Stephani***:)
"A true friend will always stay a friend
whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end."

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

3 posted 2000-03-14 09:35 PM

Very dark, well written work. I think it may either be about death itself or about someone's spirit dying. Exellent work!

*Krista Knutson*

I do this so this world will know that it will not change me....-GB

4eva_at_heart
Member

since 2000-02-12

Posts 238

4 posted 2000-03-15 05:45 AM

um...WOW!!
can i just leave it at that??
coz i mean WOW! this is excellent!
i think i will stick this on my wall as a reminder, never again will i lose hope or let myself be crushed under others....well that's how i interpret this poem...i am probably wrong but that's the way i read it

Bec

dazed
Member

since 2000-03-13

Posts 119
USA

5 posted 2000-03-15 06:20 AM

ummm wow 2
i took it someone is dead and being judged by whatever but i could be wrong too...
great work!!
Dana

LyricFetish
Senior Member

since 2000-01-13

Posts 528
North Carolina

6 posted 2000-03-16 10:36 AM

Thank you everyone for your replies!!

DragonFang- I think I was trying to portray gloom really, like through the eyes of a person who has been made an outcast by a society who casts judgement on them not for who they are, but what they "are" in other's eyes. It's a person wanting to gain personal vengeance over all those who persecuted him/her. Kind of a deep topic, I know.

Steph- thanks for all your support!
Alwye- yeah, you are right in a way, maybe someone speaking from the grave.
4eve & Dazed- you guys are making me blush!! Thankyou for being so nice, I'm glad you can appreciate my work.

*There is no destination where we are
Please take me somewhere far
Far away from this world of mine*
(by me)

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