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Teen Poetry #2
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since 2000-03-09
Posts 52

0 posted 2000-03-14 02:51 AM

I was only 2 or 3,
When you went away,
I'm sick of mum saying,
"he'll be back someday"
I know your gone for good dad,
But why do you haunt me at night,
All i want is a night without thinking of you,
It's like your asking for a fight.
I really really hate you dad,
But i wonder how life would be,
If you were together with us,
With Mum, steph and me.
All i have is photos,
To reming me of my past,
If i count who loves me,
I'm sure to put you last.
I know i have to be strong,
Look over what you've done,
I know that things would have been different,
If i was your only son.
I found out that you cheated,
You broke my heart in two,
Now my life is shattered,
And its all because of you.
I can remember the warm tears, running down my face,
You just took of and went,
Without leaving a trace.
I still love you dad,
I'm sure you still love me,
Maybe you'll came back one day,
But we'll just have to see.
Your probably in prison,
Thinking "what have i done"
You've lost absolutly everything,
Including your own son.
Maybe mum will find someone new,
Someone who wont leave,
You get me so worked up dad,
Sometimes i can hardly breathe.
I know i'll try my best,
In whatever I decide to do,
And if i fail and lose everything i love,
I know I'm taking after you.

© Copyright 2000 huney_mel - All Rights Reserved
since 2000-03-13
Posts 119
1 posted 2000-03-14 03:02 AM

hey great work!! except one thing one time you say you hate him and the next you love him....
anyway i dunno what its like not to have a parent cause mine are both together but sometimes things are for the best your mom probably would be miserable if he stuck around...
best wishes to you!!

since 2000-03-09
Posts 52

2 posted 2000-03-14 03:21 AM

hey peoples...this poem is one that i made up lookingg from a guys point of veiw! Not mine, this isnt a life story of myself, im a female!   To have a parent is to love them, thats why it is called "unconditional love"  but to hate a parent, you still love them too, cos that love is unconditional.

Thanx for replying!
LOve Melly  

since 2000-03-09
Posts 52

3 posted 2000-03-15 12:45 PM

bec....ej...plz reply to this ???
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
4 posted 2000-03-15 12:57 PM

oh my god. I can not even begin to imagine what that must feel like. I'm so sorry. *is sad now*

 "Sa souvraya niende missian ye." I am lost in my own mind.

since 1999-12-02
Posts 148
Fredonia, NY USA
5 posted 2000-03-15 09:17 AM

   Wow,  <is sad>.  I know that this isn't a real story, from reading earlier comments, but at the same time, i really impressed with your ability to make us feel like it's real.  This was beautifully said, and like i said I'm amazed that you could imagine yourself so much into that position that you could write this.  Keep up the good work!!  

since 2000-03-09
Posts 52

6 posted 2000-03-16 03:17 AM

i really appriciate it when people reply, it makes you feel soooo good. everyone who looks at this is a great poet too, it doesnt matter how you write your poet, and how good it is, its the passion you have for it. If you dont have passion, poetry wouldnt be so powerful like it is  
Everyone keep up the good work!  

Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
7 posted 2000-03-17 05:59 AM

This is very impressive
I often write things that are not necessarily about me, so I can relate to the way you can do this.
It was very heartfelt
LoL tracie  

 Keep all the windows of your mind open
Anne Rooks

Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
8 posted 2000-03-18 12:03 PM

Interesting read.  I liked the last two lines.  Thought you did a good job of writing from a different point of view.
since 2000-03-02
Posts 50

9 posted 2000-03-19 12:29 PM

This is a good poem. There is alot of emotion displayed throughout this piece.
since 2000-03-09
Posts 52

10 posted 2000-03-21 08:41 PM

i actually thought that this poem was harsh towards the dad, its hurtfull but very powerful. The dad is an asshole so yeah thats why i worte about this.
Love always mel

Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2000-03-22 06:17 AM

Hey this is fabulous seems to be very in touch with your feelings..I am sure that every young child that has been deserted by their father has felt these exact same feelings of rejection and hurt, the hope that perhaps he may return, and the fear that you may end up exactly like him.  I understand how you could both love and hate this man.   You love him because he will always be your father and you hate him because he abandoned you and your mother.  James
since 2000-03-09
Posts 52

12 posted 2000-03-29 07:08 AM

thanks james, i know how abbandment feels, but dad moved only 30 minutes away and we still see him and he still loves us. But anyways
Love mel

since 2000-03-09
Posts 52

13 posted 2000-04-13 10:03 PM

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