running through the forest

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Teen Poetry #2

running through the forest

emptyness
Member

since 2000-03-09

Posts 95
mobile,Ala,USA

0 posted 2000-03-11 02:45 AM

flying past trees and creaturs
jumping over streams
and dodging roots
i searched

coming to a fork in the path i created my own
breaking branches
moving fallen trees
cruching the grass with my steps
i searched

i looked around
and even though things were there
i saw nothing
and didnt know what to look for
i was lost

someone took my hand an continued down my path
our path
and i wasnt lost anymore

DragonFang
Senior Member

since 2000-03-09

Posts 522
Missouri, USA

1 posted 2000-03-11 01:35 PM

*sniff* I love it, it is a very touching poem. Very very beautiful. And it has a nice happy ending.

LyricFetish
Senior Member

since 2000-01-13

Posts 528
North Carolina

2 posted 2000-03-11 01:59 PM

Very vivid imagery in your poem! This was well-writtin, you expressed your confusion, longing, relief wonderfully. I think maybe you could have elaborated on the ending a bit more, but the overall affect was great.

"The bullets you bite from the pain you request, you're finding harder to digest" -Collective Soul

pharon
Member

since 1999-11-13

Posts 251
alabama

3 posted 2000-03-11 03:53 PM

very well written! i especially love the line : "coming to a fork in the path i created my own"

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