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Teen Poetry #2
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hoppy
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271


0 posted 2000-03-07 12:02 PM



This is a little song i wrote today.  Just thought it sounded cool so i'll share it with you all.  Imagine some cool music being played while you read it, (just for dramatics j/k).  Here ya go

stuck in this simulation
devoid of stimulation
my brain falls on weakened knees
breakin' out, where's my keys
broke down the wall, now i can see
I must get away from man's inhumanity

I know that place
that place where we sat alone
wastin' life away
knowin' one day i'd be gone

Just like parted friends
back together to tie up loose ends
one end in your hand of strif
other lenced around me, draining my life

I know that place
that place where we sat alone
wastin' life away
knowin' one day i'd be gone

Just like fighters on the battle field
i turned my back, my fate is sealed
time has run out, almost to the end
remember back in the day when you were my friend

You know that place
where we sat alone
i wasted my life away
and i knew when i came back
you'd be gone

3-7-00

 "Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it."
Henry David Thoreau

Don't look... you might see.
Don't listen... you might hear.
Don't think... you might learn.
Don't walk... you might stumble.
Don't run... you might fall.
Don't make a decision... you might be wrong.
Don't live...you might die.

© Copyright 2000 Hoppy - All Rights Reserved
4eva_at_heart
Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 238

1 posted 2000-03-07 04:57 AM


i like this!! i imagined it with the groovey music and i could see it as a chart topper  

cya
Bec  


[This message has been edited by 4eva_at_heart (edited 03-07-2000).]

4eva_at_heart
Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 238

2 posted 2000-03-07 04:58 AM


sorry...but i accidently posted twice and i couldn't delete this....so well done again!!

Bec  



[This message has been edited by 4eva_at_heart (edited 03-07-2000).]

Crystalina123
Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 228

3 posted 2000-03-07 07:58 AM


I wish I could say that I didn't understand this poem but sadly I do. It's very beautiful and well written. Very heartfelt, put some music to it and as 4eva said, you could have something!

 "The worst of what people do to one another is deceive.
Because when you love someone you control their version
of reality. If you lie to them that's like making them
autistic so that what they believe is reality is in fact,
not their true situation at all.

sunshine17
Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 89
Bonduel, WI USA
4 posted 2000-03-07 11:16 AM


I agree with everyone.  You have written a very good thing here.  I can relate to the emotions and felings here, and I'm sure with the right kind of music this would be an awesome song!
- Gina

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