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Teen Poetry #2
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An Ocean
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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An Ocean |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697
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Oceans There are many in my life Keeping me away from what I want But there is one The biggest I've ever known It keeps me from the one thing I want more than anything... Love He is so close sometimes But he doesn’t reach out, and nether do I His coldness and my fear Make up this vast ocean That I’m not ready to cross yet But someday, I will build a ship A strong ship The nails will be hope The boards will be courage And the sails will be my dreams And I will begin the journey From my heart to his The winds will blow And, at times, I’ll think I may not make it But I’ll be content to die trying Then I wouldn’t have to spend my life Playing “What if...” But, if I make it across this ocean To the one I want more than anything The harsh trip will just be a memory And I’ll know nothing but love But, until that day That I’m ready to build that ship I will have my dreams I just hope he doesn’t go back To where he came from Across an actual ocean To where there is no return <!signature--> <font face="Arial, Verdana" size="1" color="#000080"> "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world" </font> [This message has been edited by LoveBug (edited 03-05-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Oh my, Lovebug. This is a beauty! I am astounded with your talents. Who needs stuctured verse, when you write free verse like this. I am so excited and happy with this poem, but of course not with the situation in the poem. I have lived this poem, and I know how hard it is to make that move. Love it! Liz |
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DarkMoon New Member
since 1999-12-25
Posts 9 |
Love the poem. I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I just hope you have better luck with your ocean than I did with mine. Great work |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
great work Lovebug. This is a good poem. I love the way that you have described everthing that I was feeling a little while back. It is just fantastic. Good job.  ~AF~ |
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Paul Hoekman Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 382Harwinton Ct. U>S>A> |
You got me with the title. I love the ocean and mostly sailing across it. And can relate with this beautiful piece of work. Imagery! |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
you did a good job of portraying your feelings, especially by writing them as an *extended metaphor*. I'm moocho impressed.  |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Beautiful LoveBug, very beautiful. Hold on to your dreams, for they will come true someday.  *Krista Knutson* "Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul...." ~*Sarah McLachlan- Do What You Have To Do*~ |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Excellent free verse LoveBug, it suits you well |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Thanks for the nice comments, everyone! Your opinions mean a lot to me!!!!! "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world" |
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