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Teen Poetry #2

In the Dark

DarkMoon
New Member

since 1999-12-25

Posts 9

0 posted 2000-03-03 05:10 PM

Now that I see clearly,
Not quite so chique after all,
Stunning in the half light,
Couldn't focus, moving non-stop,
(Not the only reason you couldn't stop)
The focus isn't that great now either,
But not that bad,
Not bad enough by half.

One of a very few poems I am happy with and one of only two posted here. Ihope you like.

Danny Holloway
Member Elite

since 2000-01-15

Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK

1 posted 2000-03-04 12:11 PM

Hi, not sure what your poem is about but you seem to have reached some clarity in a situation and you have expressed with some realism.
Look forward to more of your work.
Danny

DarkMoon
New Member

since 1999-12-25

Posts 9

2 posted 2000-03-05 04:12 PM

I was attempting to use the idea of bringing a girl home and then being dissapointed in the morning as a metaphor for ambitions which when fulfilled are an anti-climax. Thanks for replying and I hope you might like it better with this hint.

Paul Hoekman
Member

since 1999-12-28

Posts 382
Harwinton Ct. U>S>A>

3 posted 2000-03-05 09:41 PM

Danny thanks for asking the question,
Darkmoon thanks for explaining,
I like it!

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

4 posted 2000-03-06 10:00 PM

I like it too! Great work, very insightful.

*Krista Knutson*

"Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul...." ~*Sarah McLachlan- Do What You Have To Do*~

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