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Teen Poetry #2
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if u like poerty or songs read this...it might hlp
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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if u like poerty or songs read this...it might hlp |
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The Mike Sacks Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129brooklyn ny 
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<picture on the table> song 15 Black light room,candles lit darkness come,and truly legit empty mind free till now close my eyes and go on any how roses on the bed, champain my glass i hate the way it tastes so i'll take it down fast our picture on the table stairin at it standin in the bedroom missing it your cloathes still on the hangers your toothbrushs in the sink i been standing here for hours and still i never blinked _____________________ (2x) I know its far from over i wish i would just be colder long time since i been sober why cant it just be over _____________________ stairing out the window dreaming of her stone cold eyes looking at me standing by the fire remembering days days we had spoken only using are eyes looking right before me into her stone cold eyes sitting there before me regretting all lies thinking of days we would only know as i watched her casket lowered into the snow (2x) I know its far from over i wish i would just be colder long time since i been sober why cant it just be over _____________________ song16 Fell u again its been so long so i cant remember anyhting we used to do and for what seems to be forever,i cant think of anyhting but you so i blaim you again for another painfull night a night I fall asleep becaouse nothing feels quite right so i blaim it on you for another day of heavy breathing another night i feel you leaving its been so long since i felt anything quite like you its been to long since i've seen anyhthing do to me what you do! So i fear you again knowing all you do is hurting me knowing its not on purpose but it has to be so you scare me again with your memories stinging me another night in a fraeky dream its been so long since i heard a voice that makes me quiver like your voice did its been so sweet since i saw you again its been so long i cant remmebr when i felt this way before AND I FEAR I"LL NEVER FEEL IT AGAIN!! One day I will be famous and all the people who were ever my friends will have me by there side when ever they need me to be there. And all the people who are there talking behind my back an saying stuff bout me,and they will never see me again,and to all again this is wat i have to say "Yeah, now I'm big and important One angry dwarf and 200 solemn faces are you If you really want to see me check the papers and the TV Look who's telling who what to do Kiss my *** goodbye" |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
I really liked these....especially the first one (song15). The lines were nice and short and yet screamed of emotion. Only suggestion I have is to fix some spelling errors. I like how you didn't capitalize anything and kept it in nice and simple form. It makes it all the more interesting. Beautiful work! Salma "Not all the answers lie within your realm or mine, they lie within the borders." |
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The Mike Sacks Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 129brooklyn ny |
thanx,for the past year I have been writing what i hope to be my first of many cd's for my band... I wanna pull in like 22 songs with that cd,those are my most recent.. i know i have spelling errors,once i start writing i finish in 10 min,but if i take time to fix the errors i lose that touch...and also once im done,im so realaxed and feeling good...i dont bother... The reason i dont write with punctuation is i like to leave it oipne for you to interperate,so if i put in puntuation,it is easy to know hwere im copming from,but if i dont it leaves it open for mor eppl to relate to |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
I get whatcha mean Mike. The poems/songs are beautiful anyhow. Good luck with that CD.  Salma "Not all the answers lie within your realm or mine, they lie within the borders." |
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