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Teen Poetry #2
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since 1999-12-04
Posts 202

0 posted 2000-02-26 05:33 PM

Pain, black shadow, was never an intention,
The reclusive sun doth hide, fearful of intervention.
Took thee shelter in this abode from its caliginous night,
But this be a haven not, for it quivers with fright.
Ghost and spirits of past take their refuge within,
Plague the conscience, collectively prick the skin.
This asylum's foundation doth quiver and quake,
It's occupants scurry, leaving rubble in its wake.

From the ruins rises smoke, carried on angel's breath
An acrid odor remains, the fragrance of emotion's death.
Left in wreckage, ideals lay dumb, frigid and dashed
Ashes settle in place of optimism sublimely slashed.
Apprehension and fear overrun the remains like a weed
The phantom apparitions return, oh so eager to feed.
But hark, look, what may this be that's growing in ruin's till?
Tis hope, germinating within, a seedling that sprouts still

© Copyright 2000 peanogrl83 - All Rights Reserved
since 2000-01-19
Posts 194
Massachusetts ~USA~
1 posted 2000-02-26 06:46 PM

This was weird, but really good. It made me think.   I'm not sure about a title. Maybe, "Asylum's Foundation" ?

keep up the good work! :

"A true friend will always stay a friend
whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end."

Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
2 posted 2000-02-26 07:53 PM

Great poem, as usual. I love your colorful use of the english language, you really stand out in this forum  
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202

3 posted 2000-02-27 09:03 AM

Steph - Thanks for the reply, and I'm glad it made you think! :.)

Mistikman -  <blush> Thanks for the compliments.  I sincerely think that my work pales in comparison to that of the other members of the forum (yourself included). :.)

Did either of you catch the metaphor of the "asylum"?  Perhaps I made it too convoluted.... lol.  Oh well, thanks again!

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