Teen Poetry #2 |
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I am sorry |
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Ann17 New Member
since 2000-02-25
Posts 1 |
I am lost without him I wonder where he has gone I hear him in my sleep I see no one I want to tell him I'm sorry I am sorry I pretend he's still around I feel lonely and so scared I touch his image and it fades I worry that he may not come back I cry myself to sleep I am sorry I understand it was for the best I say it couldn't have happened I dream that we are still together I try not to think about him I hope that one day we will meet again I am sorry [This message has been edited by Ann17 (edited 02-28-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Ann17 - All Rights Reserved | |||
Oo0ostephanio0oO Member
since 2000-01-19
Posts 194Massachusetts ~USA~ |
I liked this, and I understand the meaning. I can relate to it pretty well. I'm not too well on criticism, so I may be wrong, but the words don't "flow" with each other. I'm really not a poet, so maybe it's a style I have never heard of our done or whatever. So get someone elses opinionon the "technique" part. ![]() (:***Stephani***:) "A true friend will always stay a friend whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end." |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Welcome To Passions! This was a nice first post. It can use a little critiquing though. If you would like to improve it... please feel free to e-mail me. P.S. Do not forget to check your e-mail! "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler |
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