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Teen Poetry #2
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Lil' Red
New Member
since 2000-02-19
Posts 1

0 posted 2000-02-19 07:02 PM

When you left and said I'm a need some love, I was puzzled.  You told me to go be with him, which left me heartbroken.  I was so miserable, I cried myself to sleep.  Just realizing, he was there when I would weep.  I cussed, cried, fussed, and fight, never stayed mad because I dreamed of you that night.  Realized what you were doing for me, and understanding how much you loved me.  A real man would understand the love that I need.  A fake man would just let me heart bleed.  Every now and then I'd tell you I love you.  You Probably think I'm playing, but baby I do.  I'm with him, but imagine you.  If you was in a situation like this...what would you do?


© Copyright 2000 Lil' Red - All Rights Reserved
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
1 posted 2000-02-20 10:46 PM

You've expressed a lot of passion and desperation in this poem. I'm not sure I see where you're coming from, but I can feel your emotions through your words. Keep up the good work.  

 "The bullets you bite from the pain you request, you're finding harder to digest" -Collective Soul

Junior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 39
2 posted 2000-02-20 11:36 PM

Welcome to Passions!  I like how you put all your feelings down. That is really cool you aren't afraid to show who you are.  Again, welcome to passions!
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
3 posted 2000-02-21 09:29 PM

Welcome to Passions.   You have expressed a lot of emotion in this piece. The form is very loose but if you wish to learn you have come to the right place. Feel free to e-mail if you would like some help.  
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