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Teen Poetry #2
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Junior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 39

0 posted 2000-02-16 10:29 PM

I went through my pictures today and I decided:

I want to be little wear my little
T-shirts, plastic belts, and velcro shoes.
I want to be able to play a game again
and not worry about if I win or I lose.

I want to be small look up at my dad and
know that I'll be safe if I crawl in his arms.
I want to be able to think that who a person is
doesn't depend on their looks or their charms.

I want to be young run all day,
sing all night and play forever.
I want to believe that best freinds
and wonderful families will always be together.

But then I realize that I can't be little again, I'll never be small again, and I won't be young again...and I am sad.

[This message has been edited by rachella (edited 02-17-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 rachella - All Rights Reserved
since 2000-01-24
Posts 67
el paso
1 posted 2000-02-16 10:42 PM

You know, you only as old as you feel. If you want to be 5again, you can be 5again. For a title, how about "I Want to Be" this is a very nice poem.

 Love isn't a miracle in life, the miracle of life is love.

Junior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 25
illinois, usa
2 posted 2000-02-16 11:13 PM

i think i'd go with something along the lines of "childhood longing". just an opinion. i like the feeling it gives, by the way.

 ....the words that stand still are often the ones that move us most....

Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
3 posted 2000-02-16 11:34 PM

I'm really into your style of writing. I like the repitition of "I want to be young again" because it tells your readers what the point is without us having to decipher it (although it's not hard to do)Titles....? How about "Looking Back" "No second Chances" or something like that? Really nice poem!

 "The bullets you bite from the pain you request, you're finding harder to digest" -Collective Soul

Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
4 posted 2000-02-17 07:45 PM

rachella: this is precious    i've often felt the same way... i do have to say that i dont care for the last stanza(???) though... that is, if the sentence at the end was meant to be the final statement of the poem... i'd like it much better with just the first three main stanzas... i feel that the "...and i am sad" really detracts from the sentiment of the poem...

jerome the melancholy priest

 Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
--[billy corgan]--

Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

5 posted 2000-02-18 12:24 PM

Great poem.....I wish I was young again too. It was so much easier back then. This is a really good poem.....if I were you I know I'd treasure that one forever. It has a lot of meaning. Welcome to Passions!


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