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looking back
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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looking back |
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rachella Junior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 39Indiana |
I went through my pictures today and I decided: I want to be little again...to wear my little T-shirts, plastic belts, and velcro shoes. I want to be able to play a game again and not worry about if I win or I lose. I want to be small again...to look up at my dad and know that I'll be safe if I crawl in his arms. I want to be able to think that who a person is doesn't depend on their looks or their charms. I want to be young again...to run all day, sing all night and play forever. I want to believe that best freinds and wonderful families will always be together. But then I realize that I can't be little again, I'll never be small again, and I won't be young again...and I am sad. [This message has been edited by rachella (edited 02-17-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 rachella - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Smore Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 67el paso |
You know, you only as old as you feel. If you want to be 5again, you can be 5again. For a title, how about "I Want to Be" this is a very nice poem. Love isn't a miracle in life, the miracle of life is love. |
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poetic_butterfly Junior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 25illinois, usa |
i think i'd go with something along the lines of "childhood longing". just an opinion. i like the feeling it gives, by the way. ....the words that stand still are often the ones that move us most.... |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
I'm really into your style of writing. I like the repitition of "I want to be young again" because it tells your readers what the point is without us having to decipher it (although it's not hard to do)Titles....? How about "Looking Back" "No second Chances" or something like that? Really nice poem!  "The bullets you bite from the pain you request, you're finding harder to digest" -Collective Soul |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
rachella: this is precious  i've often felt the same way... i do have to say that i dont care for the last stanza(???) though... that is, if the sentence at the end was meant to be the final statement of the poem... i'd like it much better with just the first three main stanzas... i feel that the "...and i am sad" really detracts from the sentiment of the poem... sincerely, jerome the melancholy priest Disarm you with a smile And leave you like they left me here To wither in denial The bitterness of one who's left alone --[billy corgan]-- |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Great poem.....I wish I was young again too. It was so much easier back then. This is a really good poem.....if I were you I know I'd treasure that one forever. It has a lot of meaning. Welcome to Passions! Salma |
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