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An Un-Valentine Poem
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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An Un-Valentine Poem |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina 
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*This poem is not my sentiments from today, it is merely another point of view* Rotting petals now surround The "rose of love" I thought I'd found A sea of thorns with blackened face And nothing but an empty vase My heart now weeping on this day Watching ashes blow away And in their place a crator lies Because he said "Love never dies" "The bullets you bite from the pain you request, you're finding harder to digest" -Collective Soul |
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| © Copyright 2000 Meredith - All Rights Reserved | |||
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binky_bec New Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 7 |
i really like this poem. the way you described the blown away ashes and the crater really made me think about broken promises and loss.  Bec  |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
I'm an old lady and don't belong here, but can't help commenting on the beautiful imagery in your writing. Keep up the great work. |
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Star Fairy 2 Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260cerritos, california, usa |
you used great parrelism here.. i luved the techiniques... Regret for things you did maybe tempered by time, regret for things you Didn't do, however, is inconsolable... -------823------- |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
yea, i gotta @~~~`~~~,~~~, but i got it from my mom "Yes, I think 'toast' is an appropriate description." -Jaya Ballard, Task Mage |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Very poignant and sad. Exellent way to flip around our thoughts of valentines day. I'm impressed. *Krista Knutson* One lives in the hope of becoming a memory. ~*Antonio Porchia*~ |
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Dean Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 120Canada |
I must say that this is a very excelent poem!! It's imagery is what makes it so powerfull I could actually see what you were writing. "Live to love or why live at all" Deano :) |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
lyricfetish: you express with eight simple lines all my deepest fears... so.. stop it!!... no, honestly i think this is an exquisitely written poem and a very intriguing idea... i think you accomplish this with grace and skill... very good job  sincerely, jerome the melancholy priest Disarm you with a smile And leave you like they left me here To wither in denial The bitterness of one who's left alone --[billy corgan]-- |
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faith Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 89 |
Very nice! PPl have been postin such nice poems lately!have u read Marylins latest?Some wht like yers!u r good see ya faith |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Wonderful work! The meter is solid and the poem flows from the first word to the last. The imagery is well done and you complete your theme in few words. Very nice work.  |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
ahhh... marilyn stole my words and thoughts. Good job anyway. "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
Hey thanx guys....I've never gotten this much positive response on a poem before! |
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