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Cupid's Arrow(A really good poem)
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Cupid's Arrow(A really good poem) |
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Nikkisweet Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 183Tx, Dallas |
Oh no I think I've been hit I think it's cupid's arrow Now I'm going to have a fit Being in love is great It's just ending it I hate I love the feeling that I get When you're about to kiss me That day our lips first met The warmth I felt when you first hugged me That feeling I'll never forget I'm in love and you're the only person I want to see Its been two months and I hope you won't dump me |
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| © Copyright 2000 Nikkisweet - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Nikkisweet Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 183Tx, Dallas |
Wonderful! Couldn't have said it better myself. |
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Astraea Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now |
I love Cupid/Eros. I love Anteros ever more. Nice poem, though you shouldn't put "really good poem" in the subject.  It's deserved, but it tends to be redundant. Lovely, nonetheless. Welcome to the Teen Forums and to Passions.~Astraea "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness." "Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things." |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
Just wanted to welcome you to our little group here, and congradulate you on your writing. Good job. "The bullets you bite from the pain you request, you're finding harder to digest" -Collective Soul |
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Dean Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 120Canada |
Tight poem man!! I'm guess you wrote it for you girl!! I love poems that involve cupids. anyways keep up the good work bud!! "Live to love or why live at all" Deano :) |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
nikkisweet: i have mixed feelings about this one... honestly i just flat-out dont like the last line... it seems like a plea for him to stay with you rather than the expression of adoration that i expected... of course, it may just be that it's different from what i'm used to seeing in love poetry, but i think with a little thought you could come up with something better... the rhyme was a little sing-songy, but i have no problem with that... especially since this is only your first post... i think you express yourself well and fill out the ideas in a poetic manner that is admirable... i hope to read more of your work soon sincerely, jerome the melancholy priest as far as you take me, that's where i believe the realm of soft delusions, floating on the leaves on a distant shoreline, she waves her arms to me as all the thought police, are closing in for sleep [billy corgan "porcelina of the vast oceans"] |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Welcome to Passions. I hope you enjoy sharing your work with us. I don't enjoy valentine's day so this poem kind of hit a nerve for me but hey, that is the way life is...lol. Check your e-mail for a special welcome. |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Welcome to Passions. I'm looking forward to getting to know you and reading some of your other poems. Good job on this one. "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler |
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