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Teen Poetry #2
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since 1999-12-02
Posts 443

0 posted 2000-02-11 07:02 PM

Just to give you a little insight before you read this.  I am NOT writing this from my point of view.  The girl I love is involved in this kind of relationship and is too blind to see the ending. I hope she will see him for his real self before it goes to far. She thinks I am just jealous however, I know this guys past!

Hey, baby girl
I can love you like no other
Those little boys don’t know
I’ll make you fall in love
I’ll show you a whole new world
Give it a whirl
C’mon, baby girl

Now you’re mine, baby girl
I’ll bring you roses
Wine and dine you
And you’ll fall hard
I’ll take you to parties
Here, have a beer
You’re playing big leagues now
C’mon, baby girl

Let me take you, baby girl
Give me your body
And sure, I’ll take your heart, soul, and mind
You know I love you
So give it up
C’mon, baby girl

My sweet baby girl,
I didn’t mean to get so mad
I’ll fix the chair,
The bruises will fade
I’m so sorry
I love you
Forgive me
C’mon, baby girl

Hey, baby girl
Your innocence is gone
And I don’t want you anymore
I used what you had
Sucked you dry
You gave you heart, soul, and virginity
To a demon in disguise
And now I’m done
I found another, so
Bye, bye, baby girl


© Copyright 2000 Jeremy Snyder - All Rights Reserved
Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
1 posted 2000-02-11 08:17 PM

jer: this is sadly true to life... i know far too many girls that let guys use them in ways like that and it pains my heart to see it everytime it happens... i think you do an excellent job of combining the youthful persuasiveness of such "users" with the high language of poetry and idea... good job  

jerome the mysterious priest

p.s. -- have you read Faith's new poem? it's about a lot of the same subjects...

 A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!

Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
2 posted 2000-02-11 08:51 PM

This was great Jer, it takes a special skill to be able to write from another's eyes.

 I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion

since 2000-01-24
Posts 67
el paso
3 posted 2000-02-11 09:28 PM

This poem is great. It takes a lot to acknowledge that a guy is using you, and I hope this girl you love will see its you she should probably be with.

 Love isn't a miracle in life, the miracle of life is love.

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
4 posted 2000-02-12 12:29 PM

Hey Jer ... Lets hope she reads your poem and takes heed
Sharing these thoughts with others here can hopefully tear the blinders off a few others while there's still time to do some good
Well written ... no punches pulled


Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

5 posted 2000-02-12 01:55 AM

Great poem Jer! It's hard being able to write a poem like that about a person you love and knowing what is happening to them, but hopefully she will realize her mistakes. It's really a great talent to be able to write a poem from a different point of view so well....I loved it.


Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
6 posted 2000-02-12 09:02 AM

Great job Jer. I too hopes she sees what is happening to her before it is too late. I was one of the ones that ignored the signs when they were right in front of my face. I hope she doesn't make the same mistake.  
since 1999-12-02
Posts 148
Fredonia, NY USA
7 posted 2000-02-12 02:37 PM

Jer-this was really good.  It's a shame that too many girls find themselves in these kind of relationships.  I hope that your girl realizes what she's gotten herself into, and that she realizes that you care about her so much more.  

Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

8 posted 2000-02-12 07:50 PM

Jer, I really like this poem. I also know a girl that is in a situation like this, and I sent this poem to her. It just made her mad, but maybe she will see the truth before it's too late. Hopefully. Anyway, great job! Keep up the good work, my friend.


 "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world"

Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794
In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV
9 posted 2000-02-12 10:02 PM

this is a sad but true even in most girls lives great way to word it...but i wonder just how many guys would still act like this if they thought of their daughter being treated like this

 "Yes, I think 'toast' is an appropriate description."
-Jaya Ballard, Task Mage

since 1999-09-23
Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa
10 posted 2000-02-13 02:48 AM

This is a very good poem, it talks to my heart. I have a few friends, one of them very close, in this situasion. The thing is, the more you try to open their eyes, the more blind the seem to get.

Good job.

since 2000-01-31
Posts 89

11 posted 2000-02-13 03:24 AM

Hey Jer  that was  wonderful ..and so true!I know how u feel! One thing i wanted u to know was that ma poems mean no harm and well Most of em are based on sheer observation and my way of thinking ! I think U r a great poet !N a guy like u derserves the best! )Just fr a cahnge i m ppasting something differnt! Hope u like it!
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478
12 posted 2000-02-14 09:37 AM

Jer: I agree completely with your poem, and what a lot of the other replies said.  It's true that too many girls allow themselves to be in such destructive relationships, and I hate to admit it, but I was one of them...     I hope the girl you love will see what's happening, because she doesn't deserve it.  Good luck.
~Kristi Lynn  

[This message has been edited by angel6917 (edited 02-15-2000).]

since 2000-01-26
Posts 245
yellville, Ar, U.S.
13 posted 2000-02-15 12:59 PM

great poem! I hope she sees this before it is to late, cause i know how it feels to be in this position and then everything goes wrong and u blame urself and end up hurting even more.  Great poem again

 To be or not to be...that is the question.

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