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Hey Baby Girl
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Hey Baby Girl |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA 
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Just to give you a little insight before you read this. I am NOT writing this from my point of view. The girl I love is involved in this kind of relationship and is too blind to see the ending. I hope she will see him for his real self before it goes to far. She thinks I am just jealous however, I know this guys past! Hey, baby girl I can love you like no other Those little boys don’t know I’ll make you fall in love I’ll show you a whole new world Give it a whirl C’mon, baby girl Now you’re mine, baby girl I’ll bring you roses Wine and dine you And you’ll fall hard I’ll take you to parties Here, have a beer You’re playing big leagues now C’mon, baby girl Let me take you, baby girl Give me your body And sure, I’ll take your heart, soul, and mind You know I love you So give it up C’mon, baby girl My sweet baby girl, I didn’t mean to get so mad I’ll fix the chair, The bruises will fade I’m so sorry I love you Forgive me C’mon, baby girl Hey, baby girl Your innocence is gone And I don’t want you anymore I used what you had Sucked you dry You gave you heart, soul, and virginity To a demon in disguise And now I’m done I found another, so Bye, bye, baby girl "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeremy Snyder - All Rights Reserved | |||
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
jer: this is sadly true to life... i know far too many girls that let guys use them in ways like that and it pains my heart to see it everytime it happens... i think you do an excellent job of combining the youthful persuasiveness of such "users" with the high language of poetry and idea... good job  sincerely, jerome the mysterious priest p.s. -- have you read Faith's new poem? it's about a lot of the same subjects... A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
This was great Jer, it takes a special skill to be able to write from another's eyes. I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion |
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Smore Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 67el paso |
This poem is great. It takes a lot to acknowledge that a guy is using you, and I hope this girl you love will see its you she should probably be with. Love isn't a miracle in life, the miracle of life is love. |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Hey Jer ... Lets hope she reads your poem and takes heed Sharing these thoughts with others here can hopefully tear the blinders off a few others while there's still time to do some good Well written ... no punches pulled Rex}<{{{{o> |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Great poem Jer! It's hard being able to write a poem like that about a person you love and knowing what is happening to them, but hopefully she will realize her mistakes. It's really a great talent to be able to write a poem from a different point of view so well....I loved it. Salooma |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Great job Jer. I too hopes she sees what is happening to her before it is too late. I was one of the ones that ignored the signs when they were right in front of my face. I hope she doesn't make the same mistake. |
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Singer1981 Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 148Fredonia, NY USA |
Jer-this was really good. It's a shame that too many girls find themselves in these kind of relationships. I hope that your girl realizes what she's gotten herself into, and that she realizes that you care about her so much more. ~Sarah |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Jer, I really like this poem. I also know a girl that is in a situation like this, and I sent this poem to her. It just made her mad, but maybe she will see the truth before it's too late. Hopefully. Anyway, great job! Keep up the good work, my friend. ~LoveBug "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world" |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
this is a sad but true even in most girls lives great way to word it...but i wonder just how many guys would still act like this if they thought of their daughter being treated like this "Yes, I think 'toast' is an appropriate description." -Jaya Ballard, Task Mage |
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TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa |
This is a very good poem, it talks to my heart. I have a few friends, one of them very close, in this situasion. The thing is, the more you try to open their eyes, the more blind the seem to get. Good job. |
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faith Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 89 |
Hey Jer that was wonderful ..and so true!I know how u feel!  One thing i wanted u to know was that ma poems mean no harm and well Most of em are based on sheer observation and my way of thinking ! I think U r a great poet !N a guy like u derserves the best! )Just fr a cahnge i m ppasting something differnt! Hope u like it! |
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angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
Jer: I agree completely with your poem, and what a lot of the other replies said. It's true that too many girls allow themselves to be in such destructive relationships, and I hate to admit it, but I was one of them...  I hope the girl you love will see what's happening, because she doesn't deserve it. Good luck.~Kristi Lynn  [This message has been edited by angel6917 (edited 02-15-2000).] |
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chic Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245yellville, Ar, U.S. |
great poem! I hope she sees this before it is to late, cause i know how it feels to be in this position and then everything goes wrong and u blame urself and end up hurting even more. Great poem again To be or not to be...that is the question. |
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