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Who is she?A dedication!N thnx Poetry kills n Jer!:)
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Who is she?A dedication!N thnx Poetry kills n Jer!:) |
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faith Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 89 |
Who is she? As she wakes up in the morning to find a haunted reality staring back, Robbed and ripped apart by her own reflection, A friend in disguise , a foe she slept with , Blood spurting on those betraying , scattered pieces … Like a never ending lava of sorrow, Her emotions and feelings so broke , so lonely , so raw and yet so old, And so she leaves, looking for maybe herself or someone who could be her, Walking along those cruel roads , those hidden tracks, She is wounded and hurt , mocked and laughed upon, Who is she? A question she asks as millions of fates stumble across her path, Each stabbing her with a silent knife , Raping her brain and the hope that lives, No one to answer , no one to care , As her cry touches each corner of the world, Those guiding her through the dark night , turn away as the sun comes up , Those who love her when the tide was high , turn away as the sea softly dies, Who is she? As she lies In bed with that ugly lie, Making hate and hopelessness , the only remains of her shattered soul, Laughing a hollow empty laugh , letting herself be pushed and touched, Crossing each limit that guards her sanity, As she pulls out each hungry eye which comes her way, Loving the feel of that dirty blood bathing her insides, Murdering hr short lived dignity , her so called conscience , As she gets high and lost her destination stolen, Dancing a soft desperate dance of death, Stranded somewhere b/w heaven and hell, Who is she? She asks one last time! As she jumps out of that cornered window , Daring HER fate , challenging her destiny , she hopes maybe she could fly like a bird and escape, With her open twisted skull , her white blood giving away each secret which she so skillfully hid, Finally telling , letting the world know who she is , but to late to know it her self , She gives her eyes away to her waiting grave!sf |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
faith: i think this poem is wonderfully well-written and beautifully & sadly expressive... this poem is extremely melancholy and somewhat disturbing... i hope that the earlier stanzas of this poem aren't from personal experience... if not then you do an EXQUISITE job of portraying another voice in this piece... if so, then i hope you know that all of us are here for you  sincerely, jerome the mysterious priest p.s. -- why the part about "N thnx Poetry kills n Jer" in the title? *confused* p.p.s -- i have to say that Passions has a rule against poetry glorifying suicide, drugs or violence... in my judgement i dont believe this poem glorifys suicide, but others may have a different view... if there is a problem, my suggestion is that you simply edit out the last stanza... it loses the punch of the final lines, but it still makes for a very moving and heart-felt poem... A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Awesome expression in this one. The way you placed your prodoment feelings into the poem made it so great. Good job. P.S. I too was confused with the title. "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
This is an awesome poem. I love the discriptions and details. I gotta agree with poetry_kills it is quiet disturbing, but overall that is one great poem. Keep writing!I'm anxious to read more! Salma [This message has been edited by Salooma (edited 02-12-2000).] |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Great job! I can relate to these feelings perfectly. I have lived a situation like this and the only thing I dislike is the solution to the problem. Having strength is pulling yourself out of a difficult problem and dealing with life. Running away (jumping out a window) shows nothing but weakness. No matter the circumstances. Again great job with this.  |
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