Teen Poetry #2 |
A Lonely Freedom |
sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
Shadows dance In my heart Lonliness lingers And sorrow is near Happiness is a memory Like a fallen tear Forgotten forever In this moment Broken-hearted My heart is dying Forever alone To wander this earth No one to share My secrets with No one to hold me And share their warmth The tear falls And catches on my chin Hanging on, as though wanting To linger and stay as you go Inevitably it falls It catches the sunlight Like a rainbow it shimmers as it falls None follow, and for once.... I am free.... by Lavada [This message has been edited by sweetcollege_girl (edited 02-11-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Lavada Miller - All Rights Reserved | |||
chic Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245yellville, Ar, U.S. |
dddddddeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppprrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeessssssssssiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnng (: To be or not to be...that is the question. |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
is that what you want me to call it sis? stay cool ~~Lavada~~ |
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angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
Lavada, I can't honestly give you any suggestions for a name for your poem, but I like it a lot. It is depressing, but that's where all the meaning for it comes from. ~Kristi Lynn "Why does no one sees how hard I cry?" -Me |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
i like this poem, it's not depressing, just on the reatlistic side. But as far as a title how about, A Lonely Freedom? NEW POETRY FORUM NOW OPEN "If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity." SUBMIT YOUR POETRY HERE, AWSOME PAGE. NEW POETRY FORUM ADDED Don't look... you might see. Don't listen... you might hear. Don't think... you might learn. Don't walk... you might stumble. Don't run... you might fall. Don't make a decision... you might be wrong. Don't live...you might die. THE PAGE OF PURE POETIC EXPRESSION!! |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
Your poem was a wonderful expression of inner pain and sorrow. There is no way to speak happily of depression or lonliness. You did a great job of drawing me into your thoughts. WoW. |
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Ender Member
since 1999-12-08
Posts 200Yuma, AZ USA |
I too know what it is like to be alone....i have experienced it for so long......and i still am....(i still dont get hjow i can write love poems though)....i hate the feeling and i wish nobody had to go through it.....and i especially hope you r nnot really feeling this way...u write great poems, and i cant wait for more. -Ender |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
scg: the final two stanzas are simply enchanting... sad, but beautiful i really enjoyed this piece sincerely, jerome the mysterious priest A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
thanks all.She appreciates it! stay cool ~~Lavada~~ "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
This is a great poem.....you show pain through your words. It's sad, but then again a lot of people write most when they're sad (like me). Good job! Salooma |
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