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a poem by my friend
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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a poem by my friend |
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angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
someone close to me wrote this, and asked me to post it. he asked to remain anonomyous, only to be known as Mojo. Lost angel, please don't cry I am here to hold and love you. Forgive my sins, and I'll forgive yours. Show me the path to your heart, And I promise I'll bring the light. Through and through, never forget me. I ma sad, the pain overwhelming. Don't know what to say anymore, but I hope you will find me again. I Love You. -Mojo Well, what do ya think? Be honest, like you are with me. I'll show him and let you all know what he says, too... *Evil Grin*    ~Kristi Lynn "Why does no one sees how hard I cry?" -Me |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kristi Stanczak - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ender Member
since 1999-12-08
Posts 200Yuma, AZ USA |
I LOVE IT!!! it is great...tell your friend that it is one of the best poems i have ever read--and i have read alot.....tell her to also keep up the great work -Ender |
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angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
Ender: My friend is a guy... Sorry, you said her, and I laughed, 'cuz I put he up in the poem... And yes, I'll tell HIM that you liked his poem...  ~Kristi Lynn "Why does no one sees how hard I cry?" -Me |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
Tell him that his poem sounds almost like music to me and that if a guy wrote it for me I would fall in love with him if I wasn't already! Get him to post some others. |
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angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
I told him that when he wrote it and made him blush. It will mean a lot to him, I'm sure, and he plans on having me post some more, but with our rules and regulations, I already have too much on here. I have to post his, 'cuz he doesn't have internet access, and since I do, I'm the lucky person who'll do his dirty work and replies. Hee, hee... It could be fun, though... ~Kristi Lynn speaking for Mojo "Why does no one sees how hard I cry?" -Me |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
angel & mojo: this is a pretty good poem, but i'm not sure i really like the last "i love you"... doesn't seem to fit all that well... seems more like an afterstatement to the poem... i would suggest your friend incorporate that idea as another line in the poem that is the same meter as the others instead of the short 3 syllable line he has it in now... just a suggestion  sincerely, jerome the mysterious priest A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
Yeah, yeah, okay jerome. He wrote the poem for me, and I think it's very sweet, and it does mean a lot, k? Good, I thought so! Sorry, I'm a snot when it comes to that kinda stuff... Thanks for your reply, and I'll be telling him everything you just said about his poem... *Grins Evilly* ~Kristi Lynn "Why does no one sees how hard I cry?" -Me |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
angel: hey now, no fair... you asked for honest responses, and that's what i gave... i think it's a very well-written poem... i just dont care for the final line... seems more of an afterthought than the integral part of the poem i'm sure your friend meant it to be... that is, of course, only one man's opinion  sincerely, jerome the mysterious priest A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
It's not just a man's opinion. It's "jerome the mysterious priest's OPINION!" *Grining wildly* hahaha... No, I see and argee with what Jerome is talking about. Kristi a snot? No.... never....Not my Kristi Lynn! "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler |
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angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
Oh, boy, Jer, you too? I thought you were above that! *Evil smile* If that's the way you're gonna be, I can be that way too. J/K. Well, when he gave me the poem, he had that written on there about 2 lines later, but I felt it necessary to put it on with it, because it means a lot to me. That's why I won't edit it. And Jer, one last question... When did I become YOUR Kristi Lynn???  ~Kristi Lynn "Why does no one sees how hard I cry?" -Me |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Ohhh... didn't you know? When you signed you to be in the Teen Forum you became my property. Kinda like the Marines but, not govenment property. LOL... no you can be whoever's Kristi Lynn. "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler |
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angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
Jer, I dunno about you. But, being YOUR Kristi Lynn sounds kinda good, doesn't it? I dunno, but I think you like the ring of that too, don't you? LOL... ~Kristi Lynn |
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