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Teen Poetry #2
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Shall I Compare Thee? (posted for Tamma)
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Shall I Compare Thee? (posted for Tamma) |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
in response to a post by Tamma and in an attempt to prove that men can appreciate romance also... Shall I Compare Thee? In the chilly eve of daylight's demise Two youths sit huddled 'neath azure skies He with tender eyes quoth unto she The heartfelt verse of his poetry Her eyes the light of Heaven shine As on the wings of love they rise Into that land that lovers know The land where sweet ambrosia grows sincerely, jerome the romanceless boy A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jerome Solomon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Ahhhh....what a beautiful poem! First when I read the title I thought it was gonna be some version of Shakespeare's Shall I Compare Thee to A Summer's Day (which I LOVE). Anywayz, but it was really heartfelt and totally original. You've got wonderful talent and you definatly show it though each and every word. You should really post more. I love reading them. Salooma |
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Astraea Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now |
Ack. Try to relieve myself of the burden [which I do so love] of reading all the lovely poetry to regather my senses [guilty as charged; I'm still reading] and here I find a touching masterpiece which cannot let go until I comment. Lovely poem. ~Astraea "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness." "Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things." |
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chic Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245yellville, Ar, U.S. |
is speechless  |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
To quote chic... Is speechless! Wonderful poem Jerome! I love your poetry!  ~~Lavada~~ |
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angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
Great poem, Jerome! If people think men can't appreciate romance, you just proved them wrong. I was stunned when I read this poem. ~Kristi Lynn "Why does no one sees how hard I cry?" -Me |
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jytree Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336omaha ark usa |
Good job nice touch I like it :> michael Jay vaughn |
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chic Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245yellville, Ar, U.S. |
sis isn't speechless...she said something  |
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Nights Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 56 |
I really liked the poem. Especially the third and fourth lines. And i'd like to thank you for commenting on my poetry. "It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh it's my mouth that pushes out this breath..."-FTE |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
Now, you could teach the guys around here a lesson or two *how was i to kno that today id meet someone like you? how was i to see the light with him in my path and you too far to touch?* -pom16pom- |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Leave it to me to be horribly late in responding, but great poem Jerome, I like all the descriptive words I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Wow... This was potent Jerome. I always knew you were a proficient writer but you really caught me off guard with this one. You should post some more work. "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
*smiles*  thank you so very much everyone... i honestly never thought this piece was all that good (it tends to be a little trite near the end) but i'm really glad you all liked it... salooma: the title is reflective of that... i wrote this poem about a young man in my english class... we were discussing shakespeare that day and we'd just read the sonnet "shall i compare thee to a summer's day" that day in class... i left class later than usual and saw he and his girlfriend cuddled on a stone bench beneath a poplar tree along this cobblestone path... he was reciting this poem to her... that's what inspired this poem... angel: you might try reading Shakespeare... i assure you he does a much better job of expressing love that i ever will... tamma: i think they could probably teach me a thing or two also... like how to get up out of this chair and exercise *heh*... jer: i'll certainly post more in the future (i like to post one at a time and not post again til it runs off the page... conserves space), but i doubt there will be too much more love poetry forthcoming... this one was impersonal, but most of my love poetry is written directly to the love of my life and it would feel cheapened somehow to share it with anyone but her... sincerely, jerome the mysterious priest A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Oh I know what you are talking about. I do the same thing with posting. I too write for the love of my life but things have gone down hill lately and I've come to a major writers block. I'll get over it. Just no telling when. Jer: The guy with funny ties! "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler |
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Vincent Spaulding Member
since 2000-01-16
Posts 59 |
Beautiful poem. No wonder you get all the girls. Here's an example (for comparison) of one of my love poems: I love my Wendy, I think she's sweet. I never liked a giant's feet. And not only that, but I'll tell you what: I never liked the giant's mutt Either. The giant he's all big and bad, The baddest bad we ever had. And his mutt won't leave us folks alone But makes a hydrant of every home. (Despite this enduring monument to my affection, Wendy and I did not last.) |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
vincent: well, actually i've just got one girl and she's more than enough for me as for your poem, it makes me wonder why she would break up with you after such a sweet and romantic piece as that! *hehe*... sincerely, jerome the mysterious priest A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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