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Teen Poetry #2
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since 2000-02-06
Posts 110
Clarksville, TN, USA

0 posted 2000-02-06 01:34 AM

For you, I wanted to be perfect,
excelling in every thing I tried.
When my actions went without notice,
A part of my desparation died

I worked myself to the bone,
to prove I was worth your love.
But that you didn’t even realise,
from you pedestal up above.

Then one day I  gave up,
not on everything, just on you.
Why try to make you happy,
when there was nothing I could do.

I changed my whole perspective,
on the way that I would live.
Some part of me always knew though,
whatever you asked, I would give.

I gave up trying to be perfect,
but I didn’t let that show.
I had two lives now,
and only one you would ever know.

I became what I never thought,
did things I used to oppose.
You didn’t even realise,
or the subject just never arose.

I was going through changes,
though on the outside I stayed the same.
I was losing my good kid attitude,
but for this, you recieve no blame.

People who used to know me
say I was a really sweet kid.
You show me off when it helps you,
but you never really knew what I did.

To win you love was my goal,
I worked on all my life.
But you weren’t a mother to your daughter,
You were barely your husband’s wife.

© Copyright 2000 Stephanie Elliott - All Rights Reserved
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
1 posted 2000-02-06 01:40 AM

Wow, great first post. I, too, had to fight for the admiration of my parents, which I never won. In my case I had to live in my sister's shadow, even though I outshone her academically and socially, *sigh*, such is life I guess. Welcome to Passions, may your stay be long and enjoyable  

[This message has been edited by Mistikman (edited 02-06-2000).]

since 1999-11-09
Posts 378
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now
2 posted 2000-02-06 01:43 AM

Yes, we all sometimes do crazy things we never thought we'd do to prove our love to someone else and possibly see it returned and appreciated, only to fall flat on our face until we see what's truly happening.  Lovely poem.  Welcome to Passions.    


 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."

Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
3 posted 2000-02-06 05:07 PM

wicced: this is an excellent poem... due to the enormous number of "love" poems that i read on here, my mind immediately went to a boyfriend or lover as the object of your poem, so the ending came as a pleasant surprise that forced me to reevaluate the entire idea of the poem... very good job    i am particularly fond of the lines "Then one day I  gave up,/ not on everything, just on you."... so brutally honest...

jerome the boy with no brain

 A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!

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